so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 11:20am
At least you got those 2 weeks, I've got 2 in diapers right now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 11:22am

I've lived without the extras, but that was just a few years ago -- my kids were 13, 11 and 9 then.

I woh ft while they were little -- never missed a first. Any time I saw something first, it was a first AND it was just as special since I got to see lots and lots of practice along the way.

I never considered that I was "away from my children daily", as I was still with them many hours per day, per week, per month, per year. In fact, I'm always here for them -- it's called being a GOOD MOTHER.

And as for extras making us happy -- you bet. I lived for two years just barely scraping by -- NO extras for me OR my children. We ALL like it better this way -- and I STILL get to take care of my own children, LOL!

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 11:22am

Amen. Preach it sistah.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 11:25am

and, with one of my children, I'm on the THIRD SET of the 5 year window -- as he will be 16 next week, LOL!

my other kids are 13, 11 and a 9 year old step-child. I've had PLENTY of time with them.

It certainly helps to take the LONG-RANGE view of parenting. It's so much more than JUST those first 5 years.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 11:26am

What I want to know is why marry someone with that fragile of an ego in the first place and spend all your time second guessing yourself to see if your actions are going to bruise his little ego.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 11:28am

you know what feels the best???? when my ex quit-claim on the house and I was able to refinance it IN MY NAME ONLY! It's such a great feeling to know that this house is ALL MINE! Oh, and he signed over the title of my car as well (it had been registered in his name) -- and that's MINE too.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 11:35am

my dh would be happy if I earned more than him. As it is, we make roughly the same amount. He makes a bit more plus gets bonuses. I make less, but don't work as many hours and have way more time off per year.

We both joke with each other that neither of us married the other for the money, LOL!

Carole

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 11:38am
Yeah...those things make SUCH a difference don't they??? AH FREEDOM!

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 11:42am

"It's so much more than JUST those first 5 years."

When my dd was an infant she had spells when she would scream, not cry, for what seemed like hours at a time. Dh and I would take turns walking her and trying to distract her. We were at a family get together and I commented on how parenting has to get easier when they are older. My aunt patted my hand and said, "Whatever you need to believe to get you through the day, sweetie." lol. I think when your kids are small it is sometimes hard to not fixate on those first 5 years, lol.

Robin

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 11:44am
my mom always said 'little kids - little problems. Big kids- big problems! you can usually fix whatever's wrong with a snack, a nap, a hug or a clean diaper when they're little. It's when they're older that the real work begins!"

 

Yes. We. Did.

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