so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 12:14pm

It's true that some dual WOH parents

Yeah well, that's just, ya know, like, your opinion, man-The Big Lebowski 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 12:29pm
Yes, that too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 12:34pm
Don't hold yer breath, hon, you might turn blue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 12:39pm
I don't get it either. Jr can't be out of sight of parent from birth through middle school years, he’s imbibed with moral fortitude based on the sacrifices and good guidance of his parents to get unscathed through the hs years, but magically at 18, with no job skills, and little life experience, he’s patted on the back with a hardy good luck. You’re gonna make it on your own.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 12:52pm

She posted a list of things she gave up to me awhile back.....most of which I didn't do to begin with, therefore really not hard to give up.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:00pm

I'm not so much into the developmental firsts of childhood (first step, tooth, etc) but more the first piano recital, the first time they pitch in a baseball game, the first time they sing at church or read a scripture...that kind of thing.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:01pm

Oh, I love that.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:03pm

Hey, I'm still trying to figure out what happens at 5/6 years of age let alone at 18.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:08pm

I've felt guilty since the moment I knew I was pg - I think it's just a mothers burden. I'll always feel guilgy about something... But as long ask I know I'm doing what I can I can deal with it.

The monuments are important to me - I know he doesn't care. I still do, and I still regret missing them, mostly because I feel I didn't HAVE to miss them - I missed them because we were too consumed with making the max. dollar possible.

oh, well - you can't complain unless you're willing to change it, and I am changing it so that's what matters. Yeah for us!

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 1:13pm

here's the thing...guilty is a totally useless waste of tiem emotion. Your son isn't makign you feel guilty certainly and I HOPE your husband isn't -- only you can. And it's ok to own your choices -- whatever the choice is is less important than owning it fully-- live your life and revel in it but don't waste time on coulda woulda shouldas. I HATE this concept that there are all these pareting "shoulds" out there -- if I listened to them I would be cooking and crafting and avolunteering at class parties-- none of which I do -- if I listened to those 'shoulds' I woudl have kept trying to breastfeed and would have been miserable -- if I listened to all those "shoulds" I wouldn't let my daughter stay up watching American Idol with me...;-) the long story short is I did things my way and the way that worked for us - no guilt no apologies.

You've found a good solution and It sounds like it'll work out great for you -- but don't let guilt stand in the way of enjoying life -- it's far too much fun! (And Ishould say that it took my divorce and my coming out of the closet to REALLY realize that guilt was useless!)

 

Yes. We. Did.

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