so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2004
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 2:10pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2004
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 2:11pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 2:14pm

But that doesn't mean every adult child feels that way.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 2:15pm

I'm sorry, you did state that you work and it was a comment you brought into this debate.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 2:19pm

so much for my post on how trying to 'out martyr' each other in the sacrifices we make is useless enterprise.

We ALL make sacrifices for our kids -- they come in all shapes and sizes, some are monetary, some are physical, some are emotional but we all sacrifice in some way for our kids and we all find ways to take care of ourselves because WE matter too. --someone's pedicure may be the one moment every few months that she gets to sit still, calm down and be taken care of and not worry about making conversation b/c she doesn't speak Korean, someone's bright red jeep may be a symbol of hard won freedom and a way to get over a divorce, someone's long weekend at the beach may be a much needed time to recharge batteries with the whole family away from the pace of life, someone's trip to mcdonald's is a night off from cooking

and by someone I mean me.

but what I never understnad is why every six weeks pedicure splurge is so offensive to anyone else -- last time i checked Iw asn't spending anyone's money buy mine -- and wasn't affecting anyone's life but mine (or anyone's toes but mine) so WHY does how I spend my time, my money and my life affect YOU? In short it doesn't..just like your decisions don't affect me.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 2:26pm

Wonderful post.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 2:31pm
No worries - even with a nanny for 45 to 50 hours a week, I'm still my childrens' main influence, not her.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 2:38pm

okay, it wouldn't work for your family. BUT, the other poster has purported that wohms should not work for "things" -- especially if they have to work 80 hours per week. However, there are sahms (on this board I believe) whose dh's do EXACTLY that. Is THAT okay?

My income made it possible for us to spend a week at the Jersey shore this summer -- and yes, i got a manicure & a pedicure before we went. We treasure the memories that we have made on those vacations.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 2:40pm

i think that the amount of people (wohms OR wohds) who are working "in order to accumulate things" is really, really, really low. Most of those who woh do so because at least part, if not all of that second income is needed. If they only need PART of that second income, why do you care WHAT they spend the rest of it on?

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 2:43pm
YOU are his main influence. YOU are his MOTHER. Period.

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