so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2004
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:11pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:11pm

When dd was choosing a college we did a lot of research and went to quite a few college orientations. The reasoning that we heard over and over was that the more focused on their education someone is the better their chances of succeeding and graduated. The dean shared that fulltime students who work 15 hours per week or less greatly improve their chances of graduating. While dh and I aren't paying for her entire education, what we are contributing has enable dd to only work during the summer and on school breaks.
I know that there are millions of students who work FT and attend school PT in order to finance their education and many of them go on to graduate. If we had not been able to contribute financially I hope my kids would have been part of the group to graduate on their own eventually. I just don't see that as the ideal situation or the best way for them spend their young adult lives.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:11pm

But you are going to miss some of it, unless your plan is to spend 24/7/365 and that is clear that it's not as your child is in school for more time than I work outside of the home.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:13pm
"I guess I just want to be his main influence right now, not the babysitter." Which is fine and great, especially if you have reached the point of being clear about this being the number one priority for YOU. It is not worth doing because of some sense of guilt. Your kid does not want you to feel guilty on his account. Your kid wants you to be happy as fervently as you want him to be happy. I say this as an old BTDT mommy with a sour teen ;).
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:13pm

Wow someone who understands exactly what I've been trying to say.

 

Shari mother to

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:18pm
There is no way I could SAH if money was that tight, knowing that WOH would make a difference.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:18pm

Who

Yeah well, that's just, ya know, like, your opinion, man-The Big Lebowski 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:18pm
OK, and now as a WAH you make 1/2 the HHI, less, or more?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:19pm

Thanks for the background info! Dh and I are paying dd tuition, books, and car expenses. She lives on campus and pays her own rent, food, etc. so she is paying most of her day to day expenses also. I think you and I are basically on the same page, lol.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2004
Wed, 08-22-2007 - 4:19pm

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