so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 2:35am
Several people, including Shari, have explained that they SAH for selfish reasons unrelated to the good of their kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 2:43am
That was the irrefutable logic? There are many reasons why people SAH, and many of them have nothing to do with people believing that SAH is better for the kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 2:43am
You missed the point. Try again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 2:57am
That is your objection to WOH? That if a woman's work means that her family has extras, then she is teaching her children bad values? The goal should be to make ends meet only and have mommy home?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 3:02am
Also, I know a fair number of families in which there is either iinherited money or a huge income from the dh. IOW, plenty of money for extras. Many of the women in those families work. They do not work for "extras," but because they enjoy their work. Often the money in the family allows them to do the work they really love without worrying about making a decent income and they may make very little. I wonder what bad thing that teaches their kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 3:09am
You are right, there isn't much to debate if your argument is that SAH is God's will and that it is against his will to make a great salary. Given that you stood to make 100K and your dh is making less than 40, it would have been logical for HIM to stay home, but I realize that would probably have been against God's will too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 7:17am
"Never" is a dangerous word to toss around.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 7:26am

and, amazingly, I've woh for 16 years and certainly thought it was "better" for my family. However, I would NEVER even begin to say that it would be "better" for all other children & families.

Carole

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 7:34am

"Yes I have said that I think there is something wrong with teaching your kids that it is more important to have extra things and more expensive things. Which is what you are doing if you are only working to be able to afford the "extras." I think that if you have the choice that a parent should stay home with their child if they can. It's their child to care for not someone else's. I understand some people don't have that option and I think then they are working to support the families needs not wants. If you are just working to prove that your a woman and can stand on your own to feet, why? Do you really need to work to prove that? I know I could support my family if I HAD to that for me is enough."

See now here's where I get confused. I' m a single mom so I guess I fall in your "have" to work category (although I worked when I was married too) but according to you I shoudl only be workig for the "needs" of my tiny 2 person family not the "Wants" -- sooooo does that mean I stop saving for our 2009 trip to Disney? Does that mean I bring back my ipod? Does that mean I cancel our day at a waterpark next week? Cuz obviously those are things we "WANT" but don't "NEED" yet I'm working so we can afford to do them...phew... I'm all tangled in your logic Man these rules are so confusing sometimes......

 

Yes. We. Did.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 7:37am

"Look at it this way, your getting a pedi could mean that the pedicurist could take her child to McD for a special treat."

...jez doin' my part to keep the economy rollin' ma'am.....

 

Yes. We. Did.

Pages