so sick of hearing....
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so sick of hearing....
| Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm |
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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Yeah well, that's just, ya know, like, your opinion, man-The Big Lebowski
Do you really think that using paid childcare automatically means the parent/child relationship will suffer over the course of a lifetime?
Part of the benefits of me continuing to WOH when my kids were small is that I now have the seniority in my department never to have to teach afternoon or evening classes. I can work 100% within their school schedule. Newbies don't have that opportunity.
"Do you really think that using paid childcare automatically means the parent/child relationship will suffer over the course of a lifetime?"
You know what's funny? there are certain things about daycare that Liza remembers vividly -- especially the field trip to the petting farm I chaperoned when I had to go chase after a runaway baby goat sigh --- mostly her two favorite teacher are what stands out -- but the other day we found her group picture from her last summer at daycare and she said "wow...who ARE all these kids?" That was only 3 years ago and as far as she's concerned it was another whole life time ago -- now she's a third grader with a grown up messagner bag for school (like the teenagers momma!) and full of life and energy for another year of soccer, dance, school, and friends. if those years on daycare are supposed to be so traumatic and damaging I think it's funny that to her they're a distant blur ....
Yes. We. Did.
Yuck. I don't even have the time to address this garbage. Bottom line -- For YOU, it's not enough. Well, MANY of us can do WAY more than you can, i guess.
Carole
It's pretty funny what people think are "essentials" and what are sacrifices. I drive a 7 yr old minivan with almost a hundred thousand miles on it -- by choice. Having a new car stresses me out because I am always worried about that first scratch or ding. Now I happily drive an old clunker with a dent in the passenger door and stains on the carpet. I have my hair cut every four or five months, when I can't stand it anymore. I have never had a professional manicure or pedicure in my life and haven't ever wanted one. I keep wondering what these "things" I am supposed to be working for, and sacrificing my children's happiness in order to obtain, are.
In our house, the "extras" are things like music lessons -- I am finding out if your kid gets good, music lessons are *not* cheap, good running shoes for my cross country runner, and trips. We would definitely cut down on our travel if I didn't WOH, but funnily enough, travelling together is some of the best "quality time" we get as a family over the course of a year.
Because I'm going by what you are telling me. I am also asking you questions, and you have the opportunity to tell me I'm wrong. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
What makes you think your baby cares if you see him/her roll over for the first time? "Seeing the firsts" isn't good parenting, it's selfish. Wanting to have money? I don't think that's bad. I've lived too long eating top ramen and beans, and my children deserve better than that. It's not worth poverty to have a SAHM. It's not worth government assistance to have a SAHM. Sometimes, money IS important. You may have thought you had a bad mother, but it's probably had little to do with her having a job. I bet you she would have been lousy had she SAH. That's because people don't change. You can spend all night telling me that SAH is better for the kids, or you can invent scenarios where WOHMs ignore their children and do housework when they are home, but that doesn't change facts. The fact is, my son had a SAHM until he went to K. My daughter did/does not. I see no difference. I've experienced no difference. My experience has shown me that there are SAHMs who think they are doing what is best for their family at that point in time, and there are SAHMs who need to feel like they are superior to other mothers to justify their choices. Which are you?
I am a mother who knows I'm making the right choice for me and my family.
Shari mother to
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