so sick of hearing....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
so sick of hearing....
1991
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 1:34pm
hello everyone!! i just read the cnn article on how burnt out and guilty the working mom is...and how hard it is to incorparate "quality" time...and all i can say is WILL YOU COME OFF IT PLEASE!! i work-40 hours a week; sometimes 6 days a week to get all my hours...and i have 2 children-7 and 3...and you know what-every day during the school year, i walk my dd to school...i volunteer at my dds school-in her classroom and on field trips-i have the last 2 years and plan to do more of the same this coming year...i keep the house clean-do the dishes and laundry, go grocery shopping, etc. and you know what-neither of my kids feel slighted. we just took a week long vacation where we went to an amusement park and then to visit my sil for a few days...they have a lil shallow pool-and i go "swimming" with them often-usually before i go off to the adult world of work...we go on shopping trips with my mom and visit a cousin who has a huge pool and the adults play cards outside on the deck when the kids swim...we play games, we take walks, we go to parks...it just boggles my mind. yes i get tired-and yes there are days i wish i didnt have to go in to work...but then theres days that i cant wait until i go in-some women are meant to stay at home and theyre happy doing it...and some women are meant to work outside the home-i need that adult stimulation-i need my friends and my friends are all behind that deli counter with me...again i dont feel my kids are slighted in the least-my own mom was a stay at homer and she didnt volunteer at school and we never took the kinds of trips and outings my kids are lucky enough to have on a regular basis...i dont feel guilty when im at work-i dont think being a working mom hurts my kids...im getting sick and tired of hearing how unhappy working moms are, or how guilty i should feel cuz im not with my kids 24/7...maybe im the exception...or maybe the media focuses too much on the exceptions and a lot of working mommies feel like me...??? take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:53am
Oh don't get me wrong, it's not like Liza has amnesia but it's just funny that the kids who were her BEST FRIENDS EVER are now the same ones about which she says 'who are these people?" LOL She remembers her favorite teachers and she remembers the pool at her daycare where she got swim lessons for 3 summers and she remembers that she used to cry on picture day. But she remembers the other kids almost not at all.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:54am
Completely OT, but I love the pic of your kids.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:55am
that really puts it all in perspective doesn't it...
and for what it's worth I feel the same about the fact that I only see my daughter every other week, she doesn't magically forget me on the weeks she's at her dads house!

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:57am
TY.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:58am
I might be. I dunno. My children's college will be partially paid for by money they inherited from their grandmother -- maybe up to two years of it, depending on where they go. But I don't even know if I will *have* grandkids. My kids could choose not to have children for all I know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:59am

It does doesnt it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 10:59am

Wanting to be there for the "firsts" is selfish. It is something you do solely for YOU, the kid could not care less. In fact, most of the reasons that have been offered so far for why one would SAH are similar, wanting to be the sole influence, wanting to avoid feeling guilty and so on.

BTW, you still have not explained why it is harmful to kids to be in othercare and have working parents. All you have offered so far is that if the mnother works for "extras" then her working teaches bad values. It has been pointed out to you that many mothers work neither out of need, nor for extras, so that pretty much kills that one as a universal harm from having a WOHM. Are there some other reasons that you can think of?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 11:02am

<<I think children are about making sacrifices and you can defend your working anyway you want, but the most important thing to children is their parents time.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 11:02am
That working for "extras" thing, does it apply to Dads, too? I mean, I know in most families somebody has to cover the basics, but how about those Dads who work 60-80 hours a week and make a gazillion dollars and the family lives quite well. Couldn't Dad choose to work fewer hours, give up a few extras, and spend more time with the kiddos? Or does is somehow send a different message when it's Dad working for "things?"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 11:05am

ofcorse not.

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