social conflict

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
social conflict
797
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 6:05pm
Social class is sadly the big player in this situation.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 10:05am

How is it insulting to point out that kids who have to take out enormous amounts of money in student loans are going to start out their adult lives more burdened, and less economically sound than kids who are debt free?


I had to pay for law school and now rather than putting

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 10:13am
We do most of those things, and we both WOH. We just don't like to waste money.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 10:17am
What are you talking about now? What kids enter college "feeling measured" by whether their parents pay the full fees or not? That is ridiculous. How would anyone even know who is paying for whose college?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 10:21am
That is exactly right. I have colleagues who took out huge loans for both graduate and undergraduate education, and they do talk about how, between their mortgages and paying off their student loans, they don't have the option to have a SAHP, however much they'd like to in some cases. I really do hope my kids have that option to exercise if they like, and one way we're making it possible for our kids to make that choice for our grandkids is to put aside money for the boys' education now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 10:29am

<-->welfare i certainly don't think it belongs to only an upper middle class either.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 10:39am

I think many of those choices are not directly related to wanting or having

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 10:50am
What is insulting?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 10:57am
They may be choices that make a certain lifestyle possible, though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 10:59am

"how many of these families do you know? "

Most of the sah/woh families I know are upper middle class/wealthy - including my own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Tue, 10-27-2009 - 11:20am

I do not see how it is insulting.


Depressing, sure. I can see how it would be upsetting for some kids to enter college knowing that they have to work 20+ hours a week, plus take on the burden of student loans, while their classmates have the ability to focus on their studies and graduate debt-free. But I see nothing about that inequality that is insulting.


Maybe you are assuming that those people who do pay for college or those kids who have college paid for make a character judgment about those kids who do not? That would be odd. I mean, I am sure there is often a judgment of the circumstances, but not of the kid at the center of them.


I have sympathy for those kids whose parents had the opportunity to save for and pay for at least a portion of college and chose not to do it. I especially have sympathy for those kids whose parents have an income that makes them ineligible for grants or decent loans, but who choose not to make any of that income available to the kids for their college education. But in no way does my sympathy equate to a judgment of the kids' character. It was not even their choices that led to that outcome, it was the choices of their parents. In fact, when I was in college, those of us that had our college paid for often went out of our way to help those who were struggling by sharing books, buying lunches, etc. Often with our parents' blessing.


On the other hand, there may be more insult after the fact, when two graduates earning the same amount have very different lifestyles, due to one having the burden of student loans. I have seen some of my classmates carry a bit of an arrogance about their ability to afford something that a peer cannot, whether that be the privilege of having a SAHP, a bigger house, a luxury automobile. I think sometimes after one is out earning their own way for awhile, it is easy to forget what a boost it was to not have student loans, and easy to overlook the fact that someone else's lifestyle may not be just a reflection of their career success, but also of the burden they

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