Solve my midlife crisis!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Solve my midlife crisis!
32
Thu, 08-04-2011 - 4:14pm

A year ago, I would never have believed I could be in this situation, but a lot of things have changed. No arrows, please.

For the past 7 years, I've had a volunteer position in an international Christian organization that took up a lot of my free time. I did it because I loved it. I have also been the director of Christian education for my church, a job I also loved (not because it paid well, LOL). Starting in October, my teenage daughter began experiencing a severe mental health crisis that seemed to come out of nowhere, although we have a strong family history of depression on both sides. She is doing much better now, but the months of distress really took its toll on me. (My son already had ongoing issues related to a similar diagnosis and issues with Asperger's).) In May, I resigned from the organization and announced my intention to step down from my church job. I'm just staying to get them thru the fall Sunday school start-up.

While all this was going on, DH's company went thru a reorg, and he decided to take a severance package rather than work for someone he did not respect. He left that company in June. A few weeks later, he accepted a consulting position that is based in London. He now travels there twice a month for about 10 days at a time, and will have to go to other places, such as Singapore and parts of Africa. This may or may not turn into a full-time position. If it does, we will likely move to London. In the meantime, we are in limbo.

Here's the tough part: my kids will be going to a private high school that is 25 miles away. This basically means I'll be driving 500 miles a week. I'm thankful that I now have the flexibility to do this, but am not at all looking forward to it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 08-04-2011 - 6:10pm

Wow, that's alot of change.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Thu, 08-04-2011 - 7:26pm

That's a good point about not knowing whether the school will work out. In my mind, I keep assuming it will because things couldn't be worse than they were last year, but this really isn't a rational assumption. It's just a wishful one!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 12:03am

It sounds like there are good reasons to keep everything the same for now--not moving to a different house.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 2:27am

It sounds like you have had a really difficult year, I am sorry for what you are going through.

I believe that everyone must rejoice in his destiny, in the fact that he has lived at all and achieved a destiny. Destiny is the only sure asset. – Jørgen-Frantz Jacobs
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 4:11am

Why not put your house on the market for sale and RENT a home closer to the school?

************

Kitty

"If you can't annoy somebody with what you write, I think there's little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis, British novelist, 1971 t .

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 7:13am

you have a lot going on!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 9:35am

DH's commute to work used to be 25 mi before we moved closer, that was an hour each way and that's houston.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 3:06pm

My son is just starting high school and DD has 2 years left. What makes this so frustrating is that DH was offered a job in London last spring, but couldn't take it due to a non-compete agreement he had signed with his previous company. (Yes, we could have fought it and won, but at great expense.) Before the lawyers all decided his taking the job would violate the non-compete, the kids were accepted at three international schools, so DD would have done an IB diploma instead of a US high school diploma, which would have been great for her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 3:09pm

I've done a work commute like that, but the difference is you go to work and stay there, then come home, instead of doing two round trips. We live in Massachusetts. Lots of traffic, but nothing like LA. I've never been to Houston, but we lived in the Dallas-Ft Worth area for a few years, and the traffic wasn't too bad. The real issue here is the weather in the winter.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 08-05-2011 - 4:43pm

I remember that. I thought there was a previous story with London, but couldn't remember how long ago it was. It does sound really frustrating, but you also strike me as resourceful and level-headed people, so I have faith that you will work through this difficult time ok.

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