Speaking of having 3 kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Speaking of having 3 kids...
87
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 3:21pm

Any comments on this editorial that ran yesterday?


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/04/04/AR2008040403217.html


I really object to the line that says that a family with just two kids is minimalist and "even a little sad."


Any other comments?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 12:54pm

I do think that work ethic and the way a child is brought up makes a difference!

There are for sure, a good number of people who are lucky enough to have parents fund their education who have good work ethics/responsibility instilled in them. I also think though, that an equally large number of kids who have parents paying for college were spoiled as children. I can honestly say that I was pretty spoiled, and I recognize that and have had to adjust my view on life in the real world. It just makes sense that if a family is able to afford paying for college completely out of pocket they were probably also able to afford to buy their child a nice car, pay for the insurance, send them to private schools, have them clothed in designer fashions etc. It's harder for those kinds of kids to get to college and not have a little trouble with the responsibility issues and struggle academically. I know college was a real wake-up for me. I had never had a job in high school and had never really learned to manage time very well.

My husband on the other hand, got a job at the age of fourteen. He worked all through high school. So by the time he got to college he was way ahead of me in terms of responsibility and real world 'know how'. I'm sure that's why he did so well in school. He also understood the value of money and the fact that his education was 'owned' by him, since he'd have to pay his student loans back eventually. I'm guessing that most kids who have student loans/work their way through school have already had jobs in high school..and I think that does make a difference.

As far as scholarship students go...I've seen it go both ways. Some who are extremely smart just breezed their way through high school without thinking much. It was so easy for them. Others worked hard for good grades. When they get to college the ones who breezed their way through high school sometimes struggled because they actually had to start putting in some effort to their college studies. The ones who worked hard for the good grades already knew how to do that. That's what causes some of the scholarship students to succeed or fail in my opinion!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 1:00pm

I don't mind at all working full time to enable my kids to go wherever they want to college. I think it's an honor and a privilege.


Then again, my parents covered about 75% of my total college expenses, so I'd like to do even better than that, if possible, for my kids.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 1:00pm

"It just makes sense that if a family is able to afford paying for college completely out of pocket they were probably also able to afford to buy their child a nice car, pay for the insurance, send them to private schools, have them clothed in designer fashions etc."

Really? That is not my experience. Most of my friend's parents paid for most if not all of their college and very few went to private schools, wore designer clothes or had parents who also bought them a car (nice or otherwise). Now that I have children, I see similar things happening now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 1:10pm

my parents afforded me and my 5 siblings a parochial education for 12 years but that was it.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 1:18pm

IME, most of the parents who are able to pay for their kids' college educations are not able to do that AND provide a high-priced lifestyle. While there is certainly a portion of the population who is rolling in money, I find it much more common for people who have made college a priority over lifestyle (expensive cars, designer clothes, luxury vacations.) I don't think there is a large portion of the middle class who has the money to do it all.

Unfortunately, I did see quite a few people in high school and college whose parents provided them with the life of luxury until they went to college, then cut the purse strings. Those people seemed to have the hardest time in their twenties. They were used to an expensive lifestyle that they could no longer afford and had a mountain of debt from college. I knew more than one person who told me that the years right out of college were incredibly depressing because the fact that they lived a better life at 18 made them feel like failures.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 1:39pm
Nah, I meet people like that all the time. People who are in college who have no desire to be there, who are not engaged, who have little or no intellectual curiousity, and who are, like you said, "just going through the motions." In that case, college is pretty much a waste of everyone's time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 4:14pm

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