Speaking of having 3 kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Speaking of having 3 kids...
87
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 3:21pm

Any comments on this editorial that ran yesterday?


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/04/04/AR2008040403217.html


I really object to the line that says that a family with just two kids is minimalist and "even a little sad."


Any other comments?


<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 4:14pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 1:39pm
Nah, I meet people like that all the time. People who are in college who have no desire to be there, who are not engaged, who have little or no intellectual curiousity, and who are, like you said, "just going through the motions." In that case, college is pretty much a waste of everyone's time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 1:18pm

IME, most of the parents who are able to pay for their kids' college educations are not able to do that AND provide a high-priced lifestyle. While there is certainly a portion of the population who is rolling in money, I find it much more common for people who have made college a priority over lifestyle (expensive cars, designer clothes, luxury vacations.) I don't think there is a large portion of the middle class who has the money to do it all.

Unfortunately, I did see quite a few people in high school and college whose parents provided them with the life of luxury until they went to college, then cut the purse strings. Those people seemed to have the hardest time in their twenties. They were used to an expensive lifestyle that they could no longer afford and had a mountain of debt from college. I knew more than one person who told me that the years right out of college were incredibly depressing because the fact that they lived a better life at 18 made them feel like failures.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 1:10pm

my parents afforded me and my 5 siblings a parochial education for 12 years but that was it.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 1:00pm

"It just makes sense that if a family is able to afford paying for college completely out of pocket they were probably also able to afford to buy their child a nice car, pay for the insurance, send them to private schools, have them clothed in designer fashions etc."

Really? That is not my experience. Most of my friend's parents paid for most if not all of their college and very few went to private schools, wore designer clothes or had parents who also bought them a car (nice or otherwise). Now that I have children, I see similar things happening now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 1:00pm

I don't mind at all working full time to enable my kids to go wherever they want to college. I think it's an honor and a privilege.


Then again, my parents covered about 75% of my total college expenses, so I'd like to do even better than that, if possible, for my kids.


<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 12:54pm

I do think that work ethic and the way a child is brought up makes a difference!

There are for sure, a good number of people who are lucky enough to have parents fund their education who have good work ethics/responsibility instilled in them. I also think though, that an equally large number of kids who have parents paying for college were spoiled as children. I can honestly say that I was pretty spoiled, and I recognize that and have had to adjust my view on life in the real world. It just makes sense that if a family is able to afford paying for college completely out of pocket they were probably also able to afford to buy their child a nice car, pay for the insurance, send them to private schools, have them clothed in designer fashions etc. It's harder for those kinds of kids to get to college and not have a little trouble with the responsibility issues and struggle academically. I know college was a real wake-up for me. I had never had a job in high school and had never really learned to manage time very well.

My husband on the other hand, got a job at the age of fourteen. He worked all through high school. So by the time he got to college he was way ahead of me in terms of responsibility and real world 'know how'. I'm sure that's why he did so well in school. He also understood the value of money and the fact that his education was 'owned' by him, since he'd have to pay his student loans back eventually. I'm guessing that most kids who have student loans/work their way through school have already had jobs in high school..and I think that does make a difference.

As far as scholarship students go...I've seen it go both ways. Some who are extremely smart just breezed their way through high school without thinking much. It was so easy for them. Others worked hard for good grades. When they get to college the ones who breezed their way through high school sometimes struggled because they actually had to start putting in some effort to their college studies. The ones who worked hard for the good grades already knew how to do that. That's what causes some of the scholarship students to succeed or fail in my opinion!

Arabella

Photobucket

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 11:55am

i admit to going through the motions wrt my college education.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 10:44am

But do you think the difference in the way you worked had to do with the funding? or could it have been due to differences in your ambitions, your general work ethic, your maturity level? I think it is more likely something internal in the person than something external, like funding.

In my law school class, several of the people who were top of our class were people whose parents paid for their entire education (anything not covered by scholarships). If I could identify any difference among students whose educations were paid for by parents vs. student loans vs. scholarships, I would say that I saw a number of really, really bright students who achieved under their potential because they let the pressure get to them (seeing the loans mount up, wondering if they could ever get a job to pay for them all).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Thu, 04-17-2008 - 10:28am

I've seen it go both ways..

When my husband was in pharmacy school there was a pathetic amount of students who failed out who were being 100% financed by mommy and daddy.

There were also a few on scholarship who failed out...though not as many.

Of the ones who were working their way through school and taking out student loans...hardly any of them failed out at all. (Who wants to fail out and then still owe over a hundred thousand dollars in student loans?)

Pharmacy is unique because graduates are earning more than six figures their first year out of school...so student loans are not as much as a burden.

I don't know...I think it behooves a student to be responsible for at least a portion of their own education.

That's just my experience. My parents paid for mine and I wasn't NEARLY as good of a student as my husband who worked his entire way through pharmacy school.

Arabella

Photobucket

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

Photobucket

Pages