Spinoff of 2170 Posts!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Spinoff of 2170 Posts!!
2186
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 12:01pm

Ok, with all the wedding talk and what to give for gifts, I am NOW, after going to weddings for almost 20 years-lol! invited to an outdoor wedding in someone's home.
Here is the scenario:
Bride and Groom (she 22, he 36)
Living together for over 3 years
Groom-12 year old son
Bride and Groom-have a 3 year old and she is due with their 2nd in August
Wedding:
At her mother's house-catered food from restaurant

I know in other posts I said I would probably give the same as a sit down reception but we were orally invited to this wedding so I assume they are doing this just to get married before the 2nd child arrives. I have NO clue now what to do about a gift-lol!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:51pm

Yes, it was. I've described in some detail in another thread:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-pssahwoh/?msg=17817.1371

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:51pm
So who is?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:52pm
That sounds so classy and lovely. My friends took me to Lucky Chengs where I had to drink all night from a mug shaped like a you know what! Then we headed uptown. It was a blast! The shower was much more civilized and reserved.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:52pm
But you are there to celebrate someone's birthday. There is a difference.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:52pm

<>

that was my point. Thank you for supporting it. Matoeric stated "If someone is friends ~ or even somehow acquainted ~ with the bride, then the bridesmaids would've invited her to the shower". To which I replied that not ALL acquaintances are invited to all showers.

You just agreed with me. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:53pm

While I don't know that it is considered "standard" where I live, but it's what I was taught to do as well. Even though it's a casual event, I was taught it was the proper thing to do for the person gracious enough to "host" these type of parties. We just went to a small, casual Fourth of July pool party at dh's boss' house with our kids. It was potluck, so we brought a dish, but we also brought a bottle of wine and a bouquet of flowers to the host/hostess. And apparently, I wasn't the only one who thought a hostess gift was appropriate b/c I happened to notice (probably b/c of this being discussed so much on this board LOL) that one of dh's coworkers brought a hostess gift as well - she brought something entertaining related - like coasters or something, I didn't really see exactly what was in the box.

And that actually reminds me, I still need to write a thank you note. I know, lots of people on this board wouldn't think to do something like that but dh and I were both taught that it was the appropriate thing to do when someone invites you to their home. I'm going to write my thank you note right now while I'm thinking of it! Dh actually told our kids yesterday that they needed to write (color) them as well - gotta get them trained early LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:54pm
I don't know. I never said anyone was being picked on. Shoot, the post i responded to didn't even say someone was being picked on. You're the one that brought up the subject of people being picked on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:54pm
Never said everyone does the same as me. I am just pointing out that we give gifts for showers and not weddings so when you bring a gift to a wedding, it is like if I brought it to the shower. I have never seen a gift table at a wedding so people wouldn't be giving things and the couple would give a card, not individually.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:55pm
Really? When we got on the plane for our honeymoon (a typical honeymoon destination) we could tell who had just been married by all of the French manicures! And I think I went to about 4 places well in advance of the wedding to see who did the best updo.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 3:56pm
Yes, there is a difference. But in my circles, we still don't bring gifts. It just isn't expected or wanted.

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