Spinoff of 2170 Posts!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Spinoff of 2170 Posts!!
2186
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 12:01pm

Ok, with all the wedding talk and what to give for gifts, I am NOW, after going to weddings for almost 20 years-lol! invited to an outdoor wedding in someone's home.
Here is the scenario:
Bride and Groom (she 22, he 36)
Living together for over 3 years
Groom-12 year old son
Bride and Groom-have a 3 year old and she is due with their 2nd in August
Wedding:
At her mother's house-catered food from restaurant

I know in other posts I said I would probably give the same as a sit down reception but we were orally invited to this wedding so I assume they are doing this just to get married before the 2nd child arrives. I have NO clue now what to do about a gift-lol!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 5:43pm

I haven't picked apart her traditions at all. She does as she does. There's nothing wrong with what she does. It isn't what I would do, but that isn't to say she's doing anything wrong.

What IS wrong, imo, is hazel making statements that imply there is only one way to do things -- her way. She has yet to recognize that the way SHE does things (and the way THEY do things there) isn't the way everyone does things. Almost everyone of my posts to her has been to reinforce the point that things are done differently; almost everyone of those posts has said 1) Who is YOU? Does that mean everyone? Does that mean your circle? Who are you speaking for or 2) That's not the way I, and many I know, do things. Which of those two points picks apart her traditions?

Oh, and my third point was that she's been very inconsistent in her statements. I picked her statements apart; I did not pick her traditions apart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 5:44pm
It is just about the silliest thing I've heard in a long time!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 5:46pm
I was laughing at YOUR statement, not at the absurd scenario you invented.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 5:52pm
Around New England, a bridal shower is usually a small gathering of a bride's close women friends and relatives, usually given by a friend; it's not considered correct for a mother or a sister to give it, although she can help out with it. The purpose is to celebrate the engagement, and the gifts emphasize practical things for setting up housekeeping. Isn't that the basic drill most places around the U.S.?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 5:55pm
There are couples, and there are couples. My dh and I, after 30 years, are most definitely a couple. But a guy and a gal who've been dating for a few months might not consider themselves a couple, for gift-giving purposes or for any other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 6:00pm
I tell Dh all the time that I married him for his money and his body. After all he was raking in about $12000 per year when we married.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 6:04pm

uh...I have...guibea has...several of us have explained our traditions in our regions -- I've talked about our northern yankee way of not going overboard, having cash bars, sending actual gifts ahead of time and at least among my friends not giving gifts according to how much the 'plate cost' is at a wedding. i can't tell you WHY the way things are where I am is different -- as as been stated they just are.... b/c people are different. I have to tell you that I live and move in the least materialistic circles I can imagine...that's just ME b/c I like people and events more than 'stuff' but other people like 'stuff' so..great that's them this is me.

I mean let's face it, a northern new england yankee aint' NEVER gonna get what the hell is up with Long Island weddings and vice versa no matter how many times you say "in our set we do it this way"... all it does is make me glad I don't live in Long Island... ;-)

 

Yes. We. Did.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 6:06pm

yup...I was alwasy told that the shower gifts were the more "practical' (every day china, toaster oven, linens etc..) and the weddin gifts were the more fancy (good china, crystal, silver etc..)

...still trying to figure out where that darn shortbread pan fit in... ;-)

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 6:11pm
Yes, and giving a shower gift in no way excuses you from giving a wedding gift too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 6:17pm
and if one doesn't have a shower of any kind???

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