Spinoff of 2170 Posts!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Spinoff of 2170 Posts!!
2186
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 12:01pm

Ok, with all the wedding talk and what to give for gifts, I am NOW, after going to weddings for almost 20 years-lol! invited to an outdoor wedding in someone's home.
Here is the scenario:
Bride and Groom (she 22, he 36)
Living together for over 3 years
Groom-12 year old son
Bride and Groom-have a 3 year old and she is due with their 2nd in August
Wedding:
At her mother's house-catered food from restaurant

I know in other posts I said I would probably give the same as a sit down reception but we were orally invited to this wedding so I assume they are doing this just to get married before the 2nd child arrives. I have NO clue now what to do about a gift-lol!!

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:02pm

"But no one explains what THEY do by them. "

that's not true-- I've explained again and again what weddings ad showers and even birthdya parties are like "by me"

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:02pm
You are one of the few. Thank you.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:06pm
Are you even reading? "no one has the guts to say what goes on in their corner of the world?" I've gone over New England weddings and what birthday parties are like and even wedding showers again and again on this thread -- FAR More on this thread than I ever talk about in real life that's for sure. How have you missed all this? Cash bars! Gifts sent ahead of time! Birthday parties with no obligation of a gift! Showers for practical items! Good lord I even went into the lack of limos and "vienesse" h our and the fact that no one announced us at our wedding --and I'm not the only one who's shared that stuff either? "no guts?" please...telling someone I don't give checks for a wedding present and had a cash bar hardly takes 'guts'

 

Yes. We. Did.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:09pm
I have been to a NY wedding (in one of those 'catering halls') -- and a texas/ latino wedding, an Airzona wedding several Maine weddings and several massachusetts weddings and a connecticut one thrown in for good measure. I saw many things I liked and many things I'd never do...but none of them were my wedding so what's the big deal I can tell you I never gave a check to any of them.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:19pm
In our family and in my circle, relatives definitely do not throw showers. Friends of the couple and friends of the parents throw showers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:22pm
What does a check have to do with going to weddings all over? Just wanted to know if you experienced weddings around the country and you seem to have.
I had a cousin give us a gift as they are from PA and they were so embarassed as they did not realize that everyone else was giving checks. I told her in no way should they be embarassed because I love what they gave us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:24pm
I know the parents are not supposed to throw a shower but most of them I have been to, they do. I guess it depends on the financial picture of the bridesmaids. Mine could not afford to have one so my parents paid for it. I personally don't think my parents would have let them pay anything anyway.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:28pm
I guess my point was that we bring our traditions with us -- my tradition is to give or send a gift ahead of time as your cousins was -- just as you might give a check to a wedding where everyone was giving or sending gifts -- we carry our ways with us that's only natural!

 

Yes. We. Did.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:30pm
just have to share this -- remember I told you about the wedding of my coworker -- one big greater boston Italian family marrying another big greater boston Italian family ? Her shower HAD to have cost more than my entire wedding -- it was a sit down luncheon with appetizers, dessert and wine for a HUNDRED people! seriously I kept saying to my coworkers" are we in the right place?" I'm used to showers in someones living room with some cake, coffee and maybe a sandwich platter form the grocery store! LOL

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 9:32pm
I agree just as it is just natural for us to give checks or cash. We have known no other way either.

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