Spinoff of 2170 Posts!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Spinoff of 2170 Posts!!
2186
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 12:01pm

Ok, with all the wedding talk and what to give for gifts, I am NOW, after going to weddings for almost 20 years-lol! invited to an outdoor wedding in someone's home.
Here is the scenario:
Bride and Groom (she 22, he 36)
Living together for over 3 years
Groom-12 year old son
Bride and Groom-have a 3 year old and she is due with their 2nd in August
Wedding:
At her mother's house-catered food from restaurant

I know in other posts I said I would probably give the same as a sit down reception but we were orally invited to this wedding so I assume they are doing this just to get married before the 2nd child arrives. I have NO clue now what to do about a gift-lol!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 7:11pm
So you think someone who has lived with their spouse before the wedding should not wear white? What if they didn't live together but had relations? I doubt you would find many women wearing white then!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 7:20pm

many couples who lived together first have already established themselves,though - be it the house,belongings,sometimes even a kid already....i just find the lived together couple who spills out their registries,wearing the white gown and all to be a bit over the top. my opinion.

edited to add disclosure...i don't want it to appear that having the house is a bad thing before a marriage at all. the dynamic of both living there first,yes.




Edited 7/5/2007 7:32 pm ET by egd3blessed

 

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 7:21pm
I stopped watching my wedding video about 6 months after my wedding. the only time I pulled it out to watch it again was in 1993 when my mother (nearly five years after our wedding) was finally able to watch it -- my dad was so sick at my wedding (he weighed about 95 pounds) that it was too hard on her to watch it. I haven't watched it since..I think that my ex dh has them...I know I have teh photograph album that I have shown to my daughter from time to time.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 7:23pm
But why is that fair? Don't they deserve the same attention as a couple that did not live together first?
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 7:24pm
I think as with anything it comes down to what's important to you -- to me it was a waste to spend money on a professional video or favors or a super fancy dress -- (in 1989 my dress cost $400 and that was a real stretch for me..) to others those things are important, fine. But many of us probably "could' have spent money on "all the bells and whistles' but chose to spend it in ways that were more meaningful to us (ie: I felt Limos were a waste to drive me the 4 mile circle from my house to church to reception -- so we just went in my ex dhs' dodge omni instead! the money we saved went toward our honeymoon)

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 7:25pm
I can understand that then if it would upset you to watch it. We have showed everyone that has come over the video, especially if they were there with us. We just got it on dvd as our vhs player died and wasn't able to watch it for awhile. It's very sad though to see how so many people have died or are divorced.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 7:26pm
I understand if you don't think it is important. I wanted that "dream" day with all the bells and whistles and I have to say I got it and don't regret a thing.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 7:27pm
I got married a year out of college and of all my "close friends' that were at the wedding, I'm really only in touch with 3-4 of them on a consistent basis any more... that's what freaks me out -- how our lives and friends have changed so much in 18 years.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 7:29pm

Just curious - what does your dd make of the wedding photos?

Joel was really confused by them for a long time. We separated when Joel was 5 weeks old, so the idea of us together has always been somewhat foreign to him. When he was really little, like 2 or so, and we were living with my parents (who had hosted our reception at their home) Joel would look at the pictures of his dad and me in that house and say, "Daddy at home??" It was really weird for him. He got more used to the idea as he got older, but I think it was always hard for him to wrap his brain around me being anywhere around, much less married to, his dad.

We didn't have a lot of wedding photos, and most of them were destroyed at my ex's house, but those I have are in an album that Joel has now. He's really the only person in the world who they'll ever be important (or even interesting!LOL) to, and he has so few reminders of his dad that I'm glad he has them.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 7:31pm
My dress cost 120,000 yen (about $60).

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