Spinoff of 2170 Posts!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Spinoff of 2170 Posts!!
2186
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 12:01pm

Ok, with all the wedding talk and what to give for gifts, I am NOW, after going to weddings for almost 20 years-lol! invited to an outdoor wedding in someone's home.
Here is the scenario:
Bride and Groom (she 22, he 36)
Living together for over 3 years
Groom-12 year old son
Bride and Groom-have a 3 year old and she is due with their 2nd in August
Wedding:
At her mother's house-catered food from restaurant

I know in other posts I said I would probably give the same as a sit down reception but we were orally invited to this wedding so I assume they are doing this just to get married before the 2nd child arrives. I have NO clue now what to do about a gift-lol!!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 10:30am
is that an agreement or disagreement? tia. lol.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 10:31am

Certainly makes one think that cost really has nothing to do with it, doesn't it?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 10:34am

Neither.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 10:39am
Cost might, for some people. Some people might regret the rest of their lives if they had economized on their wedding because they were raised to think, or were influenced in other ways to think, that having a certain kind of wedding was imperative in establishing their place in the world. For them, 38,000 might be money well spent, because they NEED that wedding to establish their place in their particular social hierarchy. For others, you might as well throw the 38,000 out the window because their place in the world or self-image is NOT dependent on the type of wedding they had. I don't begrudge anybody the experience they think they need; far from it -- I have an anthropological interest in social and cultural ritual. But I do, deep down, think it's a bit silly....my especial secret delight is watching feminist friends go all traditional and sappy and stupid over antiquated, archaic ritual that used to symbolize and mark transfer of ownership of the bride from father to husband.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 10:52am
Was this your first indication/clue that your father's Judaism was so deeply engrained in him that his religious beliefs were so strong that they would preclude him from participating in a non-Jewish wedding for a family member?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 11:11am
Yes it was. Had I been raised Orthodox or Conservative I would have expected it. But I was raised in the laid-back Reform style.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 11:24am

LoL....I'm going to agree with you on all points.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 11:30am
My entire wedding cost around $1500 including the clothing, food, and pavillion (outdoor reception).
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 11:33am
Wouldn't that depend on their ideas of enjoyment? My wedding cost a total of about $1500 and nearly 8 years later I still have relatives telling me how lovely it was. If I had to spend thousands and thousands to have a memorable wedding, I would sit myself down and re-examine my priorities.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 11:43am

Sure, but I was not speaking of disregarding the tenets of one's faith. As in your example of the Jehovah's witness not attending a bday party, I can understand that. However, would it go against the tenets of your faith to attend the wedding or Bris (I probably spelled that wrong)if, for example, your child married a Jewish girl and converted?

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Pages