Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too
1403
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 11:47am

much?

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 11:59am

honestly? I think this is our country's obsession with materialism at its worst. What matters to me are the people in my life not the value of any gifst they may give me. when i got divorced some of my friends threw me a "starting over' shower and gave me everything from tupperware to plates to utenils to glasses -- pretty much all of which came from Target and probably none of which cost more than $30 but what I remember is not the gifts themselves but the fact that my friends wanted to help me out. The gifts I received at my actual wedding hold sentimental value for me but while I don't remember who gave me a place setting of china I do remember the unique gifts like the Lenox tree topper I put on my tree each year or the silly little basket I use to hold my mail. I don't remember who gave us money..

and when kelly and I get married I hope to say to our friends that we want to celebrate THEM at a big party at which Kelly and I will just happen to be married but we want to celebrate those people who love us and who we love and have them be with us for that special moment. The best wedding I ever went to was my best friends 2nd marriage which was billed as her 30th birthday party and int he middle of the party she and her now husband got married -- perfect!

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:32pm

This is how much we usually give for gifts:

Kids bday parties-$20
Family bday parties-$30-$50
Showers-$30-$100
Christenings, communions, confirmation-$50-$100
Weddings (haven't been to one in 5 years but invited to 2 this year)-$300

I got a $50 check at my wedding that bounced. I thought that was horrible because everyone knew 2 years before about our wedding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:39pm
Family bday parties-$30-$50
Showers-$30-$100
Christenings, communions, confirmation-$50-$100
Weddings (haven't been to one in 5 years but invited to 2 this year)-$300

I got a $50 check at my wedding that bounced. I thought that was horrible because everyone knew 2 years before about our wedding.>


Do you realize that you didn't answer a single question from the post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:43pm
I don't think there is an answer to how much is too much. It all depends on how much you want to spend on someone.
I was just indicating how much WE would spend for certain parties.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:54pm

A simple yes or no will do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:55pm

What I have learned from these threads is that materialism and "score keeping" is ugly!!
Personal relationships should not be affected by the gift itself but by the thought. When dh and I married, a dear friend of mine from high school attended. Her gift to us was the sweetest, framed picture of she and I trying on wedding dresses in a department store when we were 16. To this day, it is the most cherished gift that I received. Some who have posted in this thread would probably be mortified that she didn't "cover her plate".

I do think that it can be "too much". When it becomes expected that each guest will hand the bride an envelope with an expected amount inside my skin begins to crawl!

The weddings that you are attending should not be a financial hardship to you or your family. I would give what you can comfortably give and not give it a second thought.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:03pm
we have a budget set up for *gifts* in general but how much i spend varies from the very low end to the very high end depending on the interest in mind of the person i'm buying for.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:04pm


Sorry just a little testy because we have two weddings back to back weekends 3 hours away and we were going to take vacation the week after the first wedding because my DCP is taking vacation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:07pm
Wasn't the topic "Gifts-how much is too much"? You didn't say "Gifts-is $100 too much or $20 ntoo less"? I don't understand. That was your original question. I stated that it depends on how much someone wants to give another person. I layed out what we give but that might be less or more than someone else can or wants to give.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:07pm

<we have a budget set up for *gifts* in general but how much i spend varies from the very low end to the very high end depending on the interest in mind of the person i'm buying for. >


Okay so how much you spend matters?

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