I think the point is that is pretty silly to get stressed over something like dessert. As we discussed before, get containers if you think you will have too much food and fill them up for your guests and make them take them home if you really don't want the food in your house. Maybe because I LOVE food so much, I don't mind having so much leftovers to eat for the next couple of days.
The problem I'd have if you brought a plate of brownies to my house would be that if there were any left over, they'd be gone before the next morning-- even if they were all left over.
My point was also that you don't know what is going on in the mind of the gracious host even though you KNOW they don't mind that you bring food to their party when they told you not to.
My issue with the deal is not the stress of haing extra desserts etc, it is the disrepect of a friend who totally disreguards what I said. When someone asks a direct question "What do you want me to bring?, and is given a direct answer, "You do not have to bring anything". I would see it as direpectful to ignore the answer. Why ask the question if you are going to disreguard the answer?
please. did I mention the Other half of my family is IRISH? LOL. But I have attended exactly one wedding with an open bar in my life...and I asked Kelly the same thing and she said "are you kidding? who has that kind of money?" People who have seated dinners will often put a bottle each of white and red on the table , and as i just had a cocktail reception we had champagne for all but other drinks were on a cash bar basis. In New England Ithink an open bar would get you a "huh what are they trying to prove" comment....LOL>
so maybe that's why I don't get so much the "cover the cost" kind of gift b/c we don't foot the bill for all the booze.
well count as a couple that had a cash bar (we're in CT). we started out with an open bar for the first hour -- we had left a $500 tab open. We made the decision that we didn't want to spend any more than that on alcohol as our budget was already tight to the bone. I do think we also had wine on the tables. No one said a word about having to pay for their own drinks (sodas were still free).
for Alyssa's bat-mitzvah yesterday we served no alcohol at all. no one seemed to miss it.
Exactly the same in my house-lol!! My parents could not understand how we don't have leftovers for my dh to bring to work. Anything left over from dinner is eaten that night before bed by him-lol!!
I guess it is just different from where I come from as I have never met anyone who really did not care if you brought something else for dessert. None of us stress over this and if there is extra food, who cares. We either eat it, give it away or throw it away. When I say no to someone coming over, it is not because I am just making the perfect pie and I don't want anyone to out-do me, it is because I don't want them to feel obligated to bring something. 99% of people DO bring something anyway. That is just what we do here.
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Maybe because I LOVE food so much, I don't mind having so much leftovers to eat for the next couple of days.
please. did I mention the Other half of my family is IRISH? LOL. But I have attended exactly one wedding with an open bar in my life...and I asked Kelly the same thing and she said "are you kidding? who has that kind of money?" People who have seated dinners will often put a bottle each of white and red on the table , and as i just had a cocktail reception we had champagne for all but other drinks were on a cash bar basis. In New England Ithink an open bar would get you a "huh what are they trying to prove" comment....LOL>
so maybe that's why I don't get so much the "cover the cost" kind of gift b/c we don't foot the bill for all the booze.
Yes. We. Did.
well count as a couple that had a cash bar (we're in CT). we started out with an open bar for the first hour -- we had left a $500 tab open. We made the decision that we didn't want to spend any more than that on alcohol as our budget was already tight to the bone. I do think we also had wine on the tables. No one said a word about having to pay for their own drinks (sodas were still free).
for Alyssa's bat-mitzvah yesterday we served no alcohol at all. no one seemed to miss it.
Carole
i have always kept a detailed list with monetary amounts. different strokes, huh?
Carole
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