Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too
1403
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 11:47am

much?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 5:38pm
I don't see how someone would "mess up" your menu but maybe because the dinners I go to are much more casual.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 5:40pm
A day later when no one knows you ate it? Alot of girls at work bring in the extra desserts the next day and they will still eat it there. They just don't want that much in their house.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 5:40pm
To me that is way too stuffy of a dinner party. Sorry.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 5:45pm
The style of the dinner can be casual and the menu still fully planned.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 5:47pm

A mexican theme or *all american barbecue* theme is *stuffy*?? Good lord its not like I'm serving caviar on fine china here.

My parties are anything but stuffy. Well thought out and very well planned, yes. But never stuffy.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 5:49pm

Perhaps they bring it because they didnt want it there in the first place? Just because someone eats the dish doesnt make it less presumptious to insist on bringing something after the hostess asked you not to.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 5:54pm

Again, just because they eat it doesnt necessarily mean they are thrilled that you brought it. Do you think someone would stage a boycott of the food you brought to show that they did really mean *no thank you* when they said it? Of course not.

I love food too (see my post to mom2four about that)but that doesnt really have anything to do with a guest bringing a dish after the hostess specifically asked them not to. I would never say anything to a guest, and I would certainly eat and enjoy what they brought-that is the right thing to do. But I dont really appreciate a guest just taking it upon themselves to override my wishes after I have nicely said *no* about bringing additional food. I realize it is a well-intended gesture, but I would prefer a guest NOT just assume I will be thrilled with another potato salad when I already MADE one....

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 6:02pm

"I think its important that a guest respect the wish of the hostess when it comes to bringing things. If I tell my guests *no thankyou*, I think its rather rude for them to override my wishes in that regard. That said, I would certainly never refuse to serve a dish my guest brought and would never say anything to them about not being thrilled that they brought it.

ITA

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 6:48pm

You are obligated, just as your guests are that bring something.

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 7:17pm
I agree, I see it as disrespectful. It also seems a little pushy to me for someone to insist on bringing something after being told no.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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