Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too
1403
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 11:47am

much?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 10:34am
That's why I say it's a matter of region and SES.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 10:36am

Why?

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 10:46am

In NH I think we consider CT "psuedo new england" -- way too many new Yorkers!

here's the thing. No one I hang with out with can afford an open bar. My parents CERTAINLY could not have afforded an open bar, nor do I feel particularly obligated to foot an astronomical bill so people can get scnockered. My parents were state employed teachers of the deaf, the little they WERE able toc ontribute to my wedding reception was a hug stretch for them. We did what worked for us. And I've yet to see anyone run screaming in horror at having to buy a glass of wine for themselves.

This whole thread makes me exceedingly happy that I don't live or move in 'circles' or 'sets' where things are considered 'extremely rude' and talked about and nattered about. it's about the marriage not the amount of gin and tonics unlce bob was able to chug down in a few hours.

 

Yes. We. Did.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 10:49am

'stingy' is a badge of honor in Northern New England. There is a ton of wealth up here, and most of it is very well hidden behind old khakis and flannel shirts nad beat up old pick up trucks.

I'm just very very very glad that I live work and move in a world that doesn't worry about "what others may think in our 'set'"

fine .call me cheap. I was poor. my parents were poor. we did what we did and we had a lovely time, as did every one of my five college roomates and my best friends from college and the co worker who just got married last fall. like I said, no one ran fleeing from the party in horror.

 

Yes. We. Did.

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 10:50am
I honestly don't think in terms of 'circles' and 'sets' I have friends. I have some family. And they all seem to overlap at some point.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 11:02am

You're not cheap if you're too poor to afford something like an open bar.

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 11:03am

thanks! there was just no way that anyone in my ahem 'set' could justify going into debt over a few hours of free booze!

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 11:18am
I could see how your theater friends and your lesbian friends might overlap, but we have circles of friends that don't intersect.

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 11:24am

this is a very small state -- we say that most places have six degrees of separation -- in NH you have about 2. just the other day I found out one of my favorite board members and one of my dear biking buddies are in a biking club together and made the "katie connection" we all overlap like crazy up here.

And actually there aren't that many lesbians in theater-- gay boys by the bushel but the gals all seem to go into social work... ;-) I have to say though that I'm considered to be part of a small group of 'power lesbians' in our state's capital -- we all work in public advocacy, nonprofit, the arts, outreach, women's organziations etc.. -- now THAT's a fun pack of wolves to run with!

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 12:26pm
An open bar is usually not a separate price when paying for the reception.

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