Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too
1403
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 11:47am

much?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 3:24pm
I went to several weddings there and at the other factories like Sans Souci, the Swan Club, milleridge inn and Oheka. Ah, so many tacky weddings, but fun! I had my sweet 16 at the Fox Hollow. {{Sniff, sniff}}
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 3:27pm

I guess I just don't get the big deal about a few thousand dollars for an open bar. It sounds like some people think an open bar might be abused and people will drink way more than normal? But I've never noticed that.

And I don't see a difference between inviting someone to my home or to a catering hall.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 3:29pm
We only invited as many people as we could afford. If you lived near Hazeleyes, would you have considered inviting less people?
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 3:33pm

"a few thousand dollars for an open bar"

Can you possibly understand how the casual batnering of "a few thousand dollars" is insulting to those of us for whom a "few thousand dollars" represents years of scrimping and saving. When you work in the fields my parents and I have chosen to work in there is no such thing as "a few thousand dollars" to be spent on liquor. When you have money you can't possibly comprehend what it's like for those who don't and since you see no difference monetarily between a few guests for dinner and a big wedding I'm guessing you have money...I'm delighted for you but those of us who don't and never will, will never be using phrases like "what's the big deal over a few thousand"

here's some persepctive for you. Right now my assited-living bound mother is about $400 away from being completely out of money and losing the one comfort she has which is a private room unless my brother and I can somehow find the $400 per month it costs to keep her in her private room (this is after the state takes her pension and SS check to pay for her just living at the facility). when you live with those kind of realities to be asked "what's the big deal over a few thousand dollars' is like a punch in the stomach. If I had a few extra thousand dollars I'd know my mom could stay in her private room for a few more months and I'd actually sleep at night...

when this is your reality things like paying for people's booze at a wedding lose alot of importance.

 

Yes. We. Did.

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Mon, 07-02-2007 - 3:33pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 3:35pm
It has nothing to do with being a 'right' for the wedding guests. It has to do with that fact that you are a guest and shouldn't have to pony up for your food and drink. It would be similar to only providing chicken to everyone because that's all you could afford but offering steak for those who want to pay the difference. If you can't afford to serve alcohol then you don't have alcohol at the reception, you don't make your guests purchase their own.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 3:35pm

first of all You'd have to dynamite me out of New england.

we had I think about 125 people at my wedding. if the prices for the modest cocktail reception/cash bar wedding I had were steeper in a different part of the country I'd change the kind of reception to somethign even more simple so I could have the same people there. the people are what I remember, not the food, not the booze not even the gifts (except fo rthat silly shortbread pan).

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 3:35pm
I haven't seen it outside of NY. I think it's a NY, Italian thing. Just so over the top and indulgent! The viennese tables I've seen have gone half-untouched.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 3:37pm

nope don't buy it. If you come to my house for dinner and you want something harder to drink than the wine I have on hand then bring it. if you want somethign harder than the champagne or wine i furnished at my reception then buy it.

realy as I said before in the scheme of things it's not that big a deal.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 3:39pm
Really? That is so sad to leave good dessert-lol!! Italians always have to have their pastries for dessert-lol!!

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