Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too
1403
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 11:47am

much?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 4:09pm
I don't recall calling you cheap, nor did I advise you to scale back. I said what *I* personally would have done. I've said time and time again that obviously the weddings you go to are different than the weddings I've gone to so we have different experiences. Those who *are* saying it's cheap to have a wedding w/o open bar aren't making any worse judgments than you who deem open bar functions as "showy displays of wealth."
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 4:14pm
I'd seriously die of embarrassment if I was entertaining and my guests left hungry or thirsty.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 4:15pm

Now, I see the awkwardness only in the New Englanders putting the little note about my parents on the invitations. That was unnecessary, though meant to be kind, I'm sure. It was just very difficult for my folks to have probably almost 50 to 60 friends (A LOT!) travel from NY for a wedding and have a cash bar and nothing to do for an hour or two after the church.

But let's not get into the whole *parents of the bride pay for everything* mess. Ugh. An ugly tradition that transcends all state borders, I imagine!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 4:17pm
When you're in your early 20s, that kind of party - like a college or grad school thing -- is the norm.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 4:19pm

Wow, your mom got to see that part - I mean about the rageaholic. What a nightmare for her and all.

I was at a New England wedding not too long ago and we all sat at the table discussing how unfair it is one of our relatives can't marry legally. He's gay. He wants kids. It really makes me outraged. Hopefully, in our lifetime....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 4:19pm
My MIL is the only Italian lady I know who serves only fruit for dessert (!)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 4:21pm

"My parents aren't wealthy - my father worked for the federal government his entire career - but b/c my mother has always been frugal and my father been financially smart, my parents have enjoyed a nice lifestyle. Having an open bar at our wedding was certainly not some disgusting show of wealth."


Ditto.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 4:22pm
Yes. You have antipasto then salad then macaroni then entree then fruit and nuts then dessert! We used to eat ALL day-lol!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 4:22pm
But I don't see anyone calling you cheap for having the kind of wedding reception you did, given your personal and family circumstances and the part of the country in which you live.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Mon, 07-02-2007 - 4:23pm
I agree also. My parents saved up for my wedding for 2 years so they were able to give us whatever we wanted without having any bills after the wedding. That was their gift to us.

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