I don't recall calling you cheap, nor did I advise you to scale back. I said what *I* personally would have done. I've said time and time again that obviously the weddings you go to are different than the weddings I've gone to so we have different experiences. Those who *are* saying it's cheap to have a wedding w/o open bar aren't making any worse judgments than you who deem open bar functions as "showy displays of wealth."
Now, I see the awkwardness only in the New Englanders putting the little note about my parents on the invitations. That was unnecessary, though meant to be kind, I'm sure. It was just very difficult for my folks to have probably almost 50 to 60 friends (A LOT!) travel from NY for a wedding and have a cash bar and nothing to do for an hour or two after the church.
But let's not get into the whole *parents of the bride pay for everything* mess. Ugh. An ugly tradition that transcends all state borders, I imagine!
Wow, your mom got to see that part - I mean about the rageaholic. What a nightmare for her and all.
I was at a New England wedding not too long ago and we all sat at the table discussing how unfair it is one of our relatives can't marry legally. He's gay. He wants kids. It really makes me outraged. Hopefully, in our lifetime....
"My parents aren't wealthy - my father worked for the federal government his entire career - but b/c my mother has always been frugal and my father been financially smart, my parents have enjoyed a nice lifestyle. Having an open bar at our wedding was certainly not some disgusting show of wealth."
But I don't see anyone calling you cheap for having the kind of wedding reception you did, given your personal and family circumstances and the part of the country in which you live.
I agree also. My parents saved up for my wedding for 2 years so they were able to give us whatever we wanted without having any bills after the wedding. That was their gift to us.
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Now, I see the awkwardness only in the New Englanders putting the little note about my parents on the invitations. That was unnecessary, though meant to be kind, I'm sure. It was just very difficult for my folks to have probably almost 50 to 60 friends (A LOT!) travel from NY for a wedding and have a cash bar and nothing to do for an hour or two after the church.
But let's not get into the whole *parents of the bride pay for everything* mess. Ugh. An ugly tradition that transcends all state borders, I imagine!
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Wow, your mom got to see that part - I mean about the rageaholic. What a nightmare for her and all.
I was at a New England wedding not too long ago and we all sat at the table discussing how unfair it is one of our relatives can't marry legally. He's gay. He wants kids. It really makes me outraged. Hopefully, in our lifetime....
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
"My parents aren't wealthy - my father worked for the federal government his entire career - but b/c my mother has always been frugal and my father been financially smart, my parents have enjoyed a nice lifestyle. Having an open bar at our wedding was certainly not some disgusting show of wealth."
Ditto.
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