Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too
1403
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 11:47am

much?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 8:51am
We had a bar that was neither cash nor entirely open. It was stocked with precisely the alcohol we had purchased beforehand and once that ran out, the bar closed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 8:54am

Most receptions (in the part of Michigan that I lived in) are done at VFW, American Legion etc type halls. The hall, caterer, cake, liquor are all independent of each other not package deals like some have talked about here. I do not think that the halls have liquor licences, you are just renting a space from them.

What my dad is is commonly done here so I do not think broke any laws.

If someone were to buy the liquor at a liquor store and have a cash bar then I think that it would be an issue, in order to sell liquor a licence would be required. But a licence is not required to give alcohol to friends so I think that is how this gets around any liquor laws. My dad bought the liquor and gave it to his friends. The only difference between this and seerving alcohol to friends at home was there were more friends present and he rented the space.

Just had a thought, that may be why cash bars are uncommon in Michigan. To sell liquor you need a licence, to give liquor to friends you don't. So in the long run it can be cheaper to do what my dad did and buy your own liquor and give it away then to contract with someone who has a lincence and pay their fees.




Edited 7/3/2007 8:58 am ET by texigan-again
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 8:58am
liquor laws do vary from state to state and with the situation -- for example we can serve donated wine for free at our private events at the theater but we can't serve it if another caterer is on site and holds the liquor liscence for a specific event -- so if a catered event is going on in one part of the theater we can't be serving our donated wine in another -- it's very quirky. I'm sure no laws were broken, I didn't mean to imply that -- just that anyone thinking of this route should always always check with the liquor commission first -- cuz those fines can be HEFTY if you run afoul of the rules!

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:02am

Didn't think you were accusing my dad of being a criminal.

I went back and added something to my OP. Since you were posting that the same time you probably did not see it.

"Just had a thought, that may be why cash bars are uncommon in Michigan. To sell liquor you need a licence, to give liquor to friends you don't. So in the long run it can be cheaper to do what my dad did and buy your own liquor and give it away then to contract with someone who has a licence and pay their fees."

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:05am
You really don't care? Of course you do! It was 18 years ago? I thought the whole point of these rituals was to create once-in-a-lifetime memories! Open bars are rare around your way? I'm not surprised; they cost a fortune, and that's why I'd never suggest anyone have one if they can't afford it. I'd suggest they serve a generous supply of whatever they *can* afford, just as they would with bread and butter at the table.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:06am
One's finances and etiquette are two entirely separate issues.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:10am

Honestly? I don't care. I'm divorced now. I really truly honestly 100% percent don't care if anyone thinks I was tack by having a cash bar. B/c the people AT the wedding didn't think so and I've never thought so at any of the weddings I've been to with cash bars (which is you know...ALL OF THEM save one) so do I care that you think it's tacky? No. My father was dying, there was a blizzard outside and my mother still won't look at the photos b/c of how sick my dad was. Seriously the less I reminicse about my wedding the better.

And honestly. My wedding to Kelly will hopefully be the once in a lifetime experience my first wedding was not.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:10am
ITA, it's impolite to bring food items you expect the host or hostess to serve when it's not a potluck. It just forces them to deal with it when they already have enough to do. I bring things like a box of chocolates, some wine, or flowers already in a vase, so it's not an imposition.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:11am
I think if Her Majesty the Queen were coming over, you'd plan a little something special well in advance, down to appetizers and dessert. Should we do less for our friends and family?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:17am

thank you for sharing. I'm sure our guests didn't mind our etiquette faux pas since they understood that we were paying for the wedding ourselves.

Just because you think it's a lack of etiquette to have a cash bar, doesn't in fact make it a lack of etiquette.

Carole

Pages