Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Spinoff thread. Gifts how much is too
1403
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 11:47am

much?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:33am
Not as you get older.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:38am

<> True, it didn't matter to you or to any number of your friends, but when it comes to manners, the majority really doesn't rule. Plenty of my dd14 and her friends think the clothes they want wear to school are fine, and they don't understand why administration wants them to dress to code. The same kind of thing can happen among adults, even large numbers of them. And of course we're the ones teaching our kids what's classy and what's not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 10:08am

OF COURSE the decision was for OUR convenience. We did NOT want to foot a $2000 or more bar bill. We put up $500 for the tab on the bar. When that was used up we decided to make it a cash bar.

and for our circumstances it was "right to do". Our guests had no issue with it at all.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 10:12am

From superweddings.com/etiquette.html.....This works for me:)

"However, as I've said before, now that we are well into the 21st century, some of the rules of wedding etiquette are gently, and with great care, being broken. As long as you don't move within a social circle in which the ultimate in social correctness is always observed, you may be able to sneak by with your cash bar. Emily Post most definately would not approve, but, the times they are a-changing....

That said, please take careful note of the following disclaimer: Anytime you are contemplating breaking or even bending a rule of wedding etiquette, you should give the matter a great deal of consideration before making that decision."

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 10:16am

"As long as you don't move within a social circle in which the ultimate in social correctness is always observed, "


This above is the key.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 10:20am
<<...you should give the matter a great deal of consideration before making that decision." - that's what works for me. Btw, it's always a good idea to check who's paying for the content on these sites ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 10:22am
"Our guests had no issue with it" doesn't strike me as convincing. It's like when my dd14 says her micro-mini must have been okay with the assistant principal because she didn't say anything or send her home.
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 10:32am

"As long as you don't move within a social circle in which the ultimate in social correctness is always observed, "

This above is the key.

Which is again the point I have been trying to make adn which I think you recognized -- I definitely don't move in any kind of circle for one and definitely not an "ultimate in social correctness" circle.... nor frankly do I have any desire to!

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 10:34am
I'm completely surprised you think most adults can't drink in moderation. Is there any reason you feel this way?
Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 10:37am

Fine...so I'm a crappy debater too...dandy. But it truly doesn't stop me from not caring what the grande dames of society may or may not say about my truly lovely wedding (inspit of the hellish marriage that followed it LOL ).

I remember my sisters first husband came from a "society' family and when they were courting my parents invited their parents to accompnay our family from a play. My sisters ex MIL said to my mother "oh that's a lovely dress. but you do know I have seen you wear it before right?" My poor sweet depression era mom was nearly in tears worrying from then until the wedding that she would somehow do something "socially incorrect' and be called on the carpet for it. What purpose does making someone feel poorly about themselves serve? and for the record my sisters wedding had a cash bar as well and was a cocktail reception like mine....and I'm sure her ex in laws found plenty to criticize LOL .

 

Yes. We. Did.

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