Stay at home NCP SM?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Stay at home NCP SM?
58
Wed, 07-29-2009 - 2:22pm

Hello, I wanted to get some thoughts or ideas from women that stay at home or chose not to because its very likely that I will either work part time or become a full time housewife.


Heres the thing, I have worked my whole life. I have always worked full time and often over time, and some times even more then one job. I got married at 16, divorced by 17 and was living fully on my own and supporting myself as I do not have any family to help me. Many years have passed and I have done pretty well for my self. So work has always been a big part of my life.


Now, I am with, and have been with for some time, a wonderful man who wants to take care of me. He is also capable of doing so pretty well. He has 2 boys that live with their mom, but we often have them for a week here and there, weekends and even a solid month in the summers. We often go do things like going out of state to visit (his)family, vacations etc.


I still pretty much work full time as a store manager and I love my job for the most part. However since I take a considerable amount of time off I feel its not so fair to my employer. Though they have said nothing

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Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-31-2009 - 9:25am


OK, I'm with you up to growing our own vegetables.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2009
Fri, 07-31-2009 - 9:33am

me too -- even if I get us take out (cuz my lack of cooking ability is legendary here - for us home cooked is "hey look mom took the frozen pizza out of the box yay mom!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 07-31-2009 - 9:50am

when i hear people use the phrase

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 07-31-2009 - 10:24am

The squirrels got most of our sweet corn, but our cool sunny weather I think has really helped all of the garden.


Wow, 23 plants....that's a lot of tomatoes!


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 07-31-2009 - 10:26am

I can't handle a total mess....but I'm more in the middle and if I can't see the mess, eh...it's not a bother.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Fri, 07-31-2009 - 10:01pm

It's all about the level of involvement that you want and your own personality.

I worked FT after having my son. I was barely functioning. Certainly at work, wasn't up to the same level as before, and I spent about 4 months out of the first year sick.

Then I switched to part time when my son was 17 months old. It made a HUGE difference in my stress level. I went back full time when my son turned 3.

In my individual experience...I played more with my son when I worked 30 hrs vs. 40. And he notices. ("I'm drawing a picture for daddy instead of you because he plays with me more"...ouch!) We used to go to the park after work a few times a week. We can't anymore. I don't get off at 3 pm. I get off later, traffic is worse, I have to be home at 5 pm sharp to do some work on the computer almost every day. So, by the time that is all done, it's time to cook dinner (which I do, every night). So we talk, and I can usually play a little bit, maybe 5-15-25 mins here and there. But not the almost 2.5 hours of straight attention that he got when I was part time.

It doesn't mean I'm not involved now, but I was more involved then. And we eat more leftovers. Before, I cooked 4x a week. Now it's only three, and we get pretty sick of those three things by the end of the week (I broke down and ordered pizza for dinner tonight...)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 07-31-2009 - 10:37pm

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I would agree, I knew that I wanted a high level of involvement in my children's lives.....I'm not sure if that's part of my personality though.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sat, 08-01-2009 - 8:50am
Monday night vs. Saturday morning...I consider them to be the same thing in my book. Truth is, my son gets about 5 fewer hours a week of direct attention from me. He needs it less as he gets older. I'm kinda both looking forward to and dreading the time when he's so busy with his own social life that he doesn't need me much anymore.

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