Staying at home a choice??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2007
Staying at home a choice??
2204
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 6:46am

The author of this article thinks most mothers go to work because they want to, not because they have to.

"Most parents from two-parent families today do have a choice when it comes to parental care. They can try and talk themselves into believing they don't, but it really boils down to priorities."

http://backofthebook.ca/living/2007/03/part-time-ophanages-part-2-job-only.html

Does anyone (other than her) really believe this? I don't know of anyone among my friends who works who wouldn't rather be staying at home with their children. But they don't have the choice!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 8:43pm
As a renter, I never bought a new mattress. I just didn't think it was important and a waste of a perfectly good couple hundred dollars. I didn't go to a mattress store and buy a new mattress until I got married. This was after living on my own for 10 years. It just never even crossed my mind that not having a new mattress was some sort of hardship. After all, the minute I went away to college, I started sleeping on used mattresses (dorm). And I've slept on many hotel beds and, in youth, some fairly hinky and dubious youth hostel beds. So it was just never a concern. Everybody has different priorities. I just never thought it was a big deal and I still don't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 8:47pm
The assumption that people who allow scratches in hardwood floors are therefore also likely to not clean well is just an assumption. It isn't based on anything and it's totally wrong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 9:14pm
That is the horrible truth. Here in Boston, every winter brings a few homeless people who die on the nights when it gets down well below freezing. The police try to round them up and take them to shelters but some always get missed and die. And when the weather is warm, some are inevitably murdered in their sleep by drunk hoodlums (one homeless man was doused with gasoline as he slept and set on fire!!!).
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 9:19pm
They are 35 years old.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 9:20pm
I have both hardwood floors but also very large area rugs. Something very nice about rugs (or carpet) is that they really soak up sound. I don't like the echoe-ish way sound bounces around some very spare modernistic homes. I like sound muffled. Curtains and furniture are also part of this sound absorption, but carpets are a big element of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 9:20pm
My dd is only one with used furniture. When we bought the house, my parents were not taking the furniture so we used it as a guest room until my dd got out of her crib. When we got married we bought all new-living room set, kitchen set and bedroom set.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 9:24pm

Now why would you do that-wouldn't you want your guests to know your house has life??!!

My family and friends KNOW we live in the house. It doesn't have to LOOK like it. That is a big excuse people use when they don't feel like cleaning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 9:29pm
Well to be honest...cleaning has little to do with scratches on hardwoods. Dog nails, children's toys, shoes, all sorts of things can scratch hardwoods.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 9:34pm

I am the second generation on my mom's side that shares your philosophy. My Grandma was one of those women who cleaned constantly and was constantly worried about the state of her home. This apparently scarred my Mom for life but I reaped the benefits. My mom's childhood memories seem to consist of large chunks of watching her Mom clean, doing her own cleaning chores, and being scolded for making the slightest mess. In the grand tradition of "my kids will NEVER have a childhood like that", she developed a lighter approach to cleaning and also a lighter hand on scolding about mess making.

In all my life, I've only been to one house I thought was alarming. This was a highschool friend. I was horrified at the state of his house and it's not easy to horrify a 16yo whose own mom is pretty laid back about cleanliness. But his house was in a state where these days, it's entirely possible that CPS would be called. I used to rib him about his dirty clothes but after visiting him, I dropped that instantly and felt really bad about having said things, even in a joking way between friends. It robably hurt him but he didn't let on. Anyhoo, having been in his house, I now laugh inwardly when people say "don't come just yet, the house is terrible right now". I doubt that even in their messiest days that they could come anywhere near his house. Scratched floors...pshaw!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 9:48pm
I understand that but if your floors are very scratched and you consider that lived in and don't try and fix, I can't see how the rest of the house would not be like that.

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