Staying at home a choice??

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2007
Staying at home a choice??
2204
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 6:46am

The author of this article thinks most mothers go to work because they want to, not because they have to.

"Most parents from two-parent families today do have a choice when it comes to parental care. They can try and talk themselves into believing they don't, but it really boils down to priorities."

http://backofthebook.ca/living/2007/03/part-time-ophanages-part-2-job-only.html

Does anyone (other than her) really believe this? I don't know of anyone among my friends who works who wouldn't rather be staying at home with their children. But they don't have the choice!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2006
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 5:18pm

"<>

So if they were bragging about committing a crime, would you report them?"

I don't think she is talking about friends bragging about crimes. DH is from a small town and he is very close with all his friends. We still see many of them. I work with a few of them. He knows many details about their lives... the girlfriends they had... the things they got into trouble for, with parents or with law, the stupid things they did. And unless they did something REALLY stupid, DH would not turn them in for anything.

I wish I still had girlfriends as close. My best friends from highschool all live in different towns now and we don't get together very often. We correspond on the internet only at the moment.

I understand what she is talking about. She is talking about being comfortable with your friends that topics about finances do not bother anyone. Saying that one isn't jealous of another, is not the same thing as saying everyone else who doesnt' talk about finances are jealous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 5:20pm

again -- to each their own. Your way is less "messy" for you, mine is less "messy" for me. We didn't have the option of any medical plan with ex's business -- and current dh's plan is nowhere near as comprehensive as mine (just one of the reasons that I love being a public school teacher!).

Teaching can be hard to get back into depending on how long you're out of the profession as requirements change almost on a yearly basis -- especially with all the special ed and no-child-left-behind regs.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 5:22pm
Ding ding ding! We have a weiner!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 5:36pm

for us, because of my daughter's disability our childcare needs have increased every year - not decreased. As long as she's with us, we'll always have to pay for childcare.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 5:38pm

<>


That's not the way I read the posts.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2006
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 5:54pm

"Welfare fraud?"

As far as I know, none of our friends are on welfare.

"Being comfortable? Now talking about finances is being associated with being comfortable with friends and not bothering anyone. Interesting. I have never given the much importance to knowing financial details about friends lives in this manner. It's just not important to me."

If it's not that important than you are comfortable enough with your friends to not let things like finances, whether you know them or not, bother you.

We have some friends on a tight budget, and I mentioned that the mom stresses out about money CONSTANTLY. She knows I make more than her DH, but she doesn't know specifics. If she did, then she would be talking about it non-stop. With her I don't have a comfortable enough relationship to talk finances at all. When we hang out, the conversation turns to money almost every single time, and it strains things.

My best friend from highschool and I are very comfortable with each other. We dont talk specifics like money or even sex. It was just something that wasn't a concern to each of us. We may talk about things we bought like a house or a car, but we dont care how much the other makes.

I equate being comfortable with not letting things like that bother you. And saying I am comfortable to not let finances bother me does not automatically mean I am implying that someone else may not be comfortable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 5:59pm

<>


Well, that was the topic.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2006
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 6:30pm

"Well, that was the topic. But you don't know for sure? "

Do you?
I never said I knew the exact financial situation of every person I know.

"Of course not, why would me not knowing how much my friends and neighbors make even hit the radar, let alone be important enough for it to be a comfort or bother issue?"

Because the other poster said she knows, and she doesn't let it bother her BECAUSE she is comfortable. No one, I think, is saying that you need to be comfortable to know that sort of thing.

"Okay, but what does that have to do with knowing the financial picture of all of your friends? "

You can know the financial picture without being comfortable talking about it. If you're going to nit pick this much, I'm not going to bother with it...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 7:49pm
There's no difference in priorities. You either have the money for both expenses or you don't. If you don't, it doesn't make a dinker's tamn which one you put on the cc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 9:35pm
I didn't go out searching for a discount for daycare. I was at my job 2 years before they started this and before I had kids. I don't get discounts anyplace else, I have to pay full price.
Compared to alot of people, I have my priorities straight. My bills are paid on time each month and I have never asked anyone for help.

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