Stereotypes...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Stereotypes...
35
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 3:27pm
Now since I've been on this board I've heard posters communicate resentment about certain "stereotypes" associated with their work status. Whether it's the "SAHM's sit around watching soaps and eating bon-bon's" one or "WOHM's only work so they can have expensive stuff one", I find myself thinking "well (from what I've seen) there are people who exhibit, at least in part, some of those stereotypes. I've seen it myself."

So...I have to ask (and be honest) do you do anything that you feel is stereotypical to your work status? And I have to respectfully ask that we try not to bash each other for an admission. But is there any SAHM's that *must* see their soaps everyday (I'm a WOHM and I only get to watch soaps about 4 times a year but can tell you what happened everyday on Y&R and the Bold and the Beautiful so I'd argue that I'm worse than the "stereotypical SAHM")? Is there any WOHM's who do work simply to have better stuff?

Just curious.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 3:35pm
I am going to duck after I admit this. I WOHM and I budgeted $60.00 for our county fair this week. We have already spent $33.00 of it when we went Sunday night (17.00-food, 10.00-tickets, 6.00-games). It seems so extragavant but I work and we have the money right now to do it.

Krisit

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 3:50pm
Does working OH allow me to have better stuff? yes

Do I WOH just so that I can have better stuff? no

We seem to justify the "better things" we have bought by saying that they in part benefit our dd.

My income helped to buy the upgraded version of the car we wanted with air conditioning for the back seat-- our dd won't be baking in the heat.

My income helped to buy the house in the burbs -- our dd will have a yard to play in.

My income pays for my highlights... oops. no justification there. ;-)

I may be guilty, however, of the stereotype "WOHMs work so that *they* can have a career." I like what I do for my job, I've worked a long time to get to this point, and I believe that I am on this earth once and I want to be more than a SAHM (PLEASE, I'm not devaluing SAHMs -- it's that for ME, I see many roles for me which includes ____ (my career))

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 4:01pm
I'm having a hard time deciphering the tone of that post...

Maybe it's just me.

But anyway...I am in the phase of my life where I have a job and not a career. For the first time in my life I don't exactly know what I want to do. I know I want to write but what? So for me my self image doesn't have much to do with my work status. My well being does but not my self image.

As an aside, can I say that I got a new van in April (well, new to me and also pretty new it's a 2002) and it has rear air conditioning w/ seperate controls and everything. I love this van, I mean I LOVE this van (you should have seen what I was driving before. Try going from no air conditioning to seperate front and back controls...).

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 4:02pm
But you don't WOH *just* so that you can spend $ at the Fair, right? It's just a perk that comes with having an extra income. Besides, your kids enjoyed it too, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 4:08pm
It is a perk and one I like. Last August was very, very bad. We went to the fair with change to pay for the rides. It was really nice to have the money this year.

Sadly enough, the fair is a huge, huge deal in our county. Our church has cancelled meetings during fair week and all the loan places have "Special Loans for the Fair" notices on their windows. A woman at the health dept told me doctor visits and prescription refills drop during fair week because people want money for the fair. Can you imagine?

The kids had a blast and so did DH and I. It was the first time since we heard the news that I did not think about it at all. Wonderful relaxation. We took Alex, our toddler, on the carosel and he hated it. It scared him when it dipped. I was shocked-maybe he does have some fear in him after all. He may not be my astronaut...

Kristi

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 4:10pm
I think I tend to sound too serious when I write. I think it's because I'm not a good writer and I can't seem to put a "voice" into my writing. I envy my sister whose voice really comes through on paper.

I was in a "light hearted" mood when I wrote the post, but I guess it didn't come through that way :)

Anyway, my comment about the career was kind of like this -- If you were to make good $ as a writer, then you'd probably do it not *only* for the $ but also because it is what you want to do in your life-- what you have worked for and what you find fulfilling.

And oh, love the rear air conditioning!
Avatar for val10154
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 4:11pm
Well, I'm sorry to hear that some WOHMs think that all SAHMs do is watch soaps all day. I'm a WOHM, but I certainly don't think that's all SAHMs do. Anyway, as much as *some* SAHMs refuse to believe, I work b/c I have to. But like iaudrey stated in post #5, there are added things that come along w/ having an extra income. Do I work for these extras? No. But I do think the extra income is great for my dd? Yes. It benefits her greatly. We've been to tons of shows, we're leaving for Disney tomorrow (I know I mentioned this already, but I'm so excited!), we get to do things like go to the museum, aquarium, amusement parks, etc. I think it's great!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 4:19pm
It *does* sound like a blast!

My family struggled with money when I was growing up and it has resulted in some emotional baggage for us. Your comment about the change for the rides reminded me because I remember it was a big deal to get to go to the local carnivals (? not sure if that's what they were called, but the ones with travelling rides) because money was tight. What's interesting is that I think it affected my parents way more than it did us. My mom still talks about not being able to give more "things" while we were growing up, but we (the kids) don't remember feeling unhappy because we didn't have *things.* The emotional baggage in part comes from being sad for our parents for having such hard lives. That's convoluted huh... and OT at that. just started typing and kept going on. :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 4:24pm
I don't think that many WOHMs believe that all SAHMs watch soaps all day but I do think that the stereotype exists and *some* WOHMs believe it. Heck, to some degree, my mom believes it.

Besides, as with many stereotypes, there are those who fit the stereotype. Don't we all know at least *one* SAHM who spends her day shopping, watching TV, hanging out (as well as at least *one* WOHM for whom work comes before her kids)?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-20-2003 - 4:25pm
Even more off-topic but I did have an ethical/moral dilemma with the fair this year. As I have mentioned previously, I have friends expecting their 4th very planned child. She stays home and he has been unemployed. He is now working part-time as a consultant and part-time for a friend after turning down two full-time non family friendly jobs. Money is really tight for them and I have done some things in the past-bought her maternity clothes and bought their eldest DS some clothes. I wanted to and no big deal.

She calls me and says they really want to go to the fair but they don't have any money. Do I have any way of getting them in free since I work for the county? I had just been handed 2 free passes. I told her that it was not that expensive to get in-5 for adults and 2 for children 5 and up. I did not tell her about the free passes. The passes are my perk for working for the county. I felt kinda of selfish but not enough to call her back. The fair is a luxury item not a neccissity and they have created their situation (turning down jobs, getting pregnant etc) If they asked for grocery money or clothes, I would have given them that. We used the passes when we went.

Kristi

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

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