There are already enough children in the world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
There are already enough children in the world.
473
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 3:59pm

Here's an article where 5 women explain why they chose not to have any children.  http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/5-women-explain-why-chose-not-kids-165300500.html

Did you ever think about not having children?  Like some of the women, would you have had more time to enjoy your husband?  Would you be divorced? Wink  Basically, why did you have children instead of not having children?

If you don't have time for the whole article, some of the reasons included 1.) having a fulfilling life already, 2.) growing up with dysfunctional parents or other close relatives/friends who were miserable because they had kids, 3.) getting to sleep in late, travel the world, not spend the money on kids, 4.) a biggie ~ not feeling the maternal impulse.

Would you life be as happy/fun/fulfilled if you hadn't had children?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 4:08pm

For me it was a mostly unthinking next step in life.  I graduated from school, worked and sampled corporate America, married, and saw every family member, married friends having kids and "moving forward."  No one even discussed not having kids.   It was just a question of when, how many.

Way back then, as now, I do enjoy children.  For about 5 years, I had a summer job working with children and I liked babysitting.  Like just now, my son did something ridiculously silly that made me laugh out loud, as usual.  I find children at their ages to be entertaining.  It also just seemed to work well for my parents and family, friends.  I probably never thought of not having kids either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 4:29pm

I had them because I really like children and wanted to raise some of my own. We had some fertility issues so I had to confront the possibility of never having biological kids, but never actually thought of not having some kids, somehow. I don't think I would be quite as happy/fulfilled if I'd never become a mother, but I might be more "fun." Even the most wanted and beloved kids in the world can suck the fun right out of life occasionally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 4:30pm

Double Post

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Fri, 09-20-2013 - 8:17am

Like another poster said, having kids was just kind of the next step, not much thought was put into should we or not.  But some very good friends of my parents were chidless by choice, I think rare for their generation, so I always knew  it was an option.

I think that my life would be much different without children.  I have no way of knowing better or worse.  I assume it would be a combination of both.  I know a few childless woman/couples, some by choice, some possibly not so.  I do not think  that their lives are any less fulfilled than mine is. 

My DD1 stated as a teen that she never intended on having children and has not wavered from that and is now in her 30's.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Fri, 09-20-2013 - 8:55am

I wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. While I believe a lot of people are still caught up in order (getting married then having children) I see more of that tide turning - childless adults or/and couples, people having babies w/o a spouse/partner or people chosing to just co-habitate and have babies. Having children has fulfilled me and I really don't know if I'd be as fullfilled without them, that's a good question b/c I really don't remember life without children either. All children deserve to be born and raised in loving homes and if I didn't think I could provide that for them perhaps I would have thought twice about having them. Life is less about me and my wants with children. 

 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001

thardy2001 wrote:
<p>For me it was a mostly unthinking next step in life.  I graduated from school, worked and sampled corporate America, married, and saw every family member, married friends having kids and "moving forward."  No one even discussed not having kids.   It was just a question of when, how many.</p><p>Way back then, as now, I do enjoy children.  For about 5 years, I had a summer job working with children and I liked babysitting.  Like just now, my son did something ridiculously silly that made me laugh out loud, as usual.  I find children at their ages to be entertaining.  It also just seemed to work well for my parents and family, friends.  I probably never thought of not having kids either.</p>

 

I grew up in a neighborhood where the majority of families had at least 5 or 6 kids, There are a couple families that had 8, It was common place then and almost a way of life, my parents made that all look easy and I say that fondly. I love my kids ages and always did, I have to pinch myself about having a 16 year old already, there are a lot of kids that age that are into crime, unsafe behaviors and drugs. I hope we are always close b/c in a little over two years she'll be off to college and on her own. I feel the same way about my other two too, there's no stage I would weigh as heavier or lighter than another and parenting really hasn't changed much over the years. 

 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
You are less fun with kids bord? Why?

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
I am less fun because someone's got to be the grown-up. I am not going to be inclined to want to stay out until midnight if I know I'll be driving my kid into work at 4;30 am. Up until recently there was always a tendency to put the brakes on spending , etc because we had two kids to educate and that's expensive. I traded a lot of evenings relaxing on the deck with my husband for listening to first-graders read aloud or third-graders recite multiplication tables. I turned down a trip to Egypt when the kids were little because of the remote chance that something would happen and they'd be early orphaned.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2013
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 8:50am

 am less fun because someone's got to be the grown-up. I am not going to be inclined to want to stay out until midnight if I know I'll be driving my kid into work at 4;30 am. Up until recently there was always a tendency to put the brakes on spending , etc because we had two kids to educate and that's expensive. I traded a lot of evenings relaxing on the deck with my husband for listening to first-graders read aloud or third-graders recite multiplication tables. I turned down a trip to Egypt when the kids were little because of the remote chance that something would happen and they'd be early orphaned.

Sorry to hear that. I have done almost all of those things WITH kids. I do see the less money thing though lol. You CAN be fun AND have kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 8:56am
I didn't say I was "no fun." I said I was "less fun." It is less fun to listen to a first grader read for thirty minutes a night than it is to sit on the deck with a glass of wine and gaze adoringly into my spouse's eyes. Some evenings, duty came before desire. So lively that you didn't have to make any compromises that way, but that has nothing to do with me and my situation.

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