There are already enough children in the world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
There are already enough children in the world.
473
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 3:59pm

Here's an article where 5 women explain why they chose not to have any children.  http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/5-women-explain-why-chose-not-kids-165300500.html

Did you ever think about not having children?  Like some of the women, would you have had more time to enjoy your husband?  Would you be divorced? Wink  Basically, why did you have children instead of not having children?

If you don't have time for the whole article, some of the reasons included 1.) having a fulfilling life already, 2.) growing up with dysfunctional parents or other close relatives/friends who were miserable because they had kids, 3.) getting to sleep in late, travel the world, not spend the money on kids, 4.) a biggie ~ not feeling the maternal impulse.

Would you life be as happy/fun/fulfilled if you hadn't had children?

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Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 2:04pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">savcal2011</em> wrote:</div>  You must surround yourself with Pollyannas then.  I've done many "boring" and "exhausting" things with/for my children. I've done many fun, exciting and interesting things with/for my children as well.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Shoot, I remember standing in line for several hours so that The Girl could see The Dragon Tales in person.  It was a miserable wait.  However, the joy on her face when she got to hug them was worth every minute.  Drudgery - yes, but worth the rewards.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Another insult.  I don't surround myself with any type, certainly not 850 FB supeficial friendships.  And I wouldn't have waited hours on line for the Dragon Tales.  That's something you chose.  Please don't blame your daughter.</p>

You realize, don't you, that you are the only one that has used the word blame.  I've not placed blame, Bord hasn't placed blame .. You're making stuff up again.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thardy, what you are attempting here is really more than unkind, and I can't imagine what your motives are. I can't imagine what kind of person holds the women on this board in such contempt that she would spend time and energy doing what you are attempting to do. It truly baffles me. "unkind" is really the mildest adjective I've got here.
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Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 2:12pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
  You've called real friendship difficult.  Pair that up with parenting and you've got a perspective about life I do not...  To paraphrase Dr.Phil, I hope it's working for you. </p>

Clearly, you don't understand how language works, lol!  Just j/k.  That's how I read it, that's how it was written. 

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 2:16pm

bordwithyou wrote:
The post about the question was to you, Morty. You said my "statement" using the word "frightening" made no sense. I pointed out it was a question and referred you to a dictionary, if necessary.

Does the idea that you feel the need to refer another adult to a dictionary for a simple word have any bearing on your belief that socializing is "frightening?"

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 2:17pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p>Wish I could continue with this lovely discussion but I have to get ready for a car wash. lol. Don't have time to sit around and complain how "less" fun my life is. I am going to go MAKE fun as I usually do <img src="/forums/sites/all/libraries/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-laughing.gif" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" border="0" /></p>

Have fun! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 2:19pm
I have no belief that socializing is frightening. It's really not very nice of you to make that up and keep repeating it. And she's the one who asked what the word meant. I thought a dictionary might offer the definition she was seeking.
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Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 2:25pm

bordwithyou wrote:
Yes, Thardy, risks vs benefits. Planes crash, but rarely. Therefore, I often choose to fly. I decided not to accept a trip to Egypt because of heightened risk at the time. If I hadn't had kids, I probably would have gone. The risk was still rather small, statistically, and I would be willing to risk my own life, but adding in the dactor of leaving the kids orphaned meant, to me, that the risks outweighed the benefits. That's the way statistics work.

Well, that's contradictory. You have clarified you rely on the State Department reports advising against any tourist traveling to Egypt.  Again, child-free and parent, tourists were advised not to travel there.  End of story.

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Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 2:30pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
  Have a great time! :)<br /><br />DS afternoon game got changed to the gym inside the Y b/c of the rain, that should be interesting. </p>

I hope your little DS has good luck!  My morning zumba class gave me a migraine (last time it didn't), so DH is chauffering our 3 little athletes.  I actually think it's quite funny!  Now he's getting a taste of what I go through each week.  I really want to go out to eat tonight, and he's happier chauffering/not hearing me whine. Wink

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 2:34pm

bordwithyou wrote:
My children are fine, Thardy. By hanks for your concern. Although I have to tell you I'm pretty sure that if Jamblessed or Morty gad made the same decision, I'm pretty sure you'd be on here applauding their common sense. I don't know why you feel the need to constantly deride me, everything from questioning my parenting skills to my academic credentials, but I hope it is filling some need for you and you are somehow happier because of it. I would prefer a normal, honest conversation, but it does seem that's not in the works.

I have no idea what you are talking about.  I will say I find it upsetting to see my 2 good cyber friends beaten up on an almost daily basis here.  I'm surprised you take part in it. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 2:42pm
I don't really take part in beating anyone up. I find it rather bizarre that things like me saying that I wouldn't choose to wear a black dress to a wedding get interpreted as a slam on those who would; or that me saying I've travelled someplace attracts an accusation of trying to "one up" others, or that me saying sometimes I choose to stay in rather than go out is now suddenly me being "frightened" of socializing. The distortion a are bizarre, and I see no logical reason for anyone to create those distortions.

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