There are already enough children in the world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
There are already enough children in the world.
473
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 3:59pm

Here's an article where 5 women explain why they chose not to have any children.  http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/5-women-explain-why-chose-not-kids-165300500.html

Did you ever think about not having children?  Like some of the women, would you have had more time to enjoy your husband?  Would you be divorced? Wink  Basically, why did you have children instead of not having children?

If you don't have time for the whole article, some of the reasons included 1.) having a fulfilling life already, 2.) growing up with dysfunctional parents or other close relatives/friends who were miserable because they had kids, 3.) getting to sleep in late, travel the world, not spend the money on kids, 4.) a biggie ~ not feeling the maternal impulse.

Would you life be as happy/fun/fulfilled if you hadn't had children?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 09-24-2013 - 10:18pm
"So basically this ENTIRE sub-thread is USELESS." -------------' Oooh. More caps. Stuff is getting serious now. I didn't think it was useless. I thought it was interesting. I learned something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 09-24-2013 - 10:20pm
"Please name some." Oh please. You've got a powerful imagination. Use it for good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2013
Tue, 09-24-2013 - 10:21pm

"So basically this ENTIRE sub-thread is USELESS." -------------' Oooh. More caps. Stuff is getting serious now. I didn't think it was useless. I thought it was interesting. I learned something.

You learned that sometimes things are advised to you but that does not mean you HAVE to listen to it and MOST LIKELY the advise is NOT taken? Bawhahaaa...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Tue, 09-24-2013 - 10:26pm
"You learned that sometimes things are advised to you but that does not mean you HAVE to listen to it and MOST LIKELY the advise is NOT taken? Bawhahaaa." No, that is not what I learned at all. You've just produced a concatenation of totally obvious statements and unwarranted assumptions. I learned a little about how the military has sometimes prepared spouses for a return from deployment. Interestingly, to me anyway, it was pretty much the same advice astronaut wives were given 1969-72 when their husbands returned from lunar missions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2013
Tue, 09-24-2013 - 10:29pm

"You learned that sometimes things are advised to you but that does not mean you HAVE to listen to it and MOST LIKELY the advise is NOT taken? Bawhahaaa." No, that is not what I learned at all. You've just produced a concatenation of totally obvious statements and unwarranted assumptions. I learned a little about how the military has sometimes prepared spouses for a return from deployment. Interestingly, to me anyway, it was pretty much the same advice astronaut wives were given 1969-72 when their husbands returned from lunar missions.

Oh my....have a wonderful night. Outtie......

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010

savcal2011 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">litlmiss_cantbewrong</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&gt;&lt;div class="quote-author"&gt;&lt;em class="placeholder"&gt;savcal2011&lt;/em&gt; wrote:&lt;/div&gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"&amp;gt;&amp;lt;div class="quote-author"&amp;gt;&amp;lt;em class="placeholder"&amp;gt;bordwithyou&amp;lt;/em&amp;gt; wrote:&amp;lt;/div&amp;gt;I guess your drive must be something else if you would not allow someone who has been up for 22 of the last 24 hours a little rest and relaxation before demanding that he service you. Curious, would you at least allow him to shower first?&amp;lt;/blockquote&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;Reminds me  of the guidance that military wives are given when their husbands are coming home from deployment. They are highly encouraged to not initiate sex ... for several days. &amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Ok, I never got that advice.  I do think it's a good idea to not spend 24/7 with your spouse after a long deployment, spouses not used to living together for a year and then they come home and don't have work for a few days...can be a recipe for disaster.  But that's my own observation.&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>In retrospect, I should have said "sometimes" given that advice .... which I think later I corrected, if not directly, then at least in indirectly.</p><p> </p><p> </p>

I really should have said I don't remember that advice, it's only been what 10 years?  They may have, but I don't remember.  My dh didn't go to too many combat zone type deployments either.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010

Ok, I never got that advice.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Oh no? It sounded like from Savcal and Empty that ALL military wifes were told this. THANK.YOU.

No, you have a really hard time understanding what either of them said.  Sav said some of her friend's were given that advice. I ALSOsaid I don't remember it...I've forgotten billions of things I was told 10-15 years ago. 

I do think it's a good idea to not spend 24/7 with your spouse after a long deployment, spouses not used to living together for a year and then they come home and don't have work for a few days...can be a recipe for disaster.  But that's my own observation.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Wouldn't you be in a "honeymoon" phase for awhile? I lived with a couple that the dh worked away for 2 weeks and were home for 2 weeks. For the first week it was wonderful. After that they would fight for almost the rest of the time he was home.

Nothing I said disagrees with what you are saying abour your former couple that you lived with.  I said 24/7, I did not specify how soon a couple should not be spending every minute together.  That would vary.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010

mortyswife wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px">In retrospect, I should have said "sometimes" given that advice .... which I think later I corrected, if not directly, then at least in indirectly.</p><p style="font-size:13px"><strong> Do you backpedal that much at the gym? BAER.</strong></p>

This is lame and juvenile. 

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010

bordwithyou wrote:
"anyone CAN initiate" The suggested guidelines are that the person returning should be the one initiating for the first few weeks, anyway. So which one is it?" Are you seriously thinking those two statements are contradictory? Obviously, they recommend, but not require, that the recently-returned deployed spouse be the one to initiate sex. It's just a suggestion, not a requirement.

I can't imagine how even the military would enforce that.  It wouldn't be pleasant!

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">"Some classes give handouts. And?" And it is easy to imagine where the paperwork SavCal has seen might have come from. Why would someone show another person, who is not in the military, this paperwork. Why would they care?" <strong>Any number of reasons, really.</strong></span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Please name some.</span></strong></p>

Support, advice, just talking out loud with a friend, worry, stress...sounds like typical friendship sharing to me.

PumpkinAngel

Pages