There are already enough children in the world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
There are already enough children in the world.
473
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 3:59pm

Here's an article where 5 women explain why they chose not to have any children.  http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/5-women-explain-why-chose-not-kids-165300500.html

Did you ever think about not having children?  Like some of the women, would you have had more time to enjoy your husband?  Would you be divorced? Wink  Basically, why did you have children instead of not having children?

If you don't have time for the whole article, some of the reasons included 1.) having a fulfilling life already, 2.) growing up with dysfunctional parents or other close relatives/friends who were miserable because they had kids, 3.) getting to sleep in late, travel the world, not spend the money on kids, 4.) a biggie ~ not feeling the maternal impulse.

Would you life be as happy/fun/fulfilled if you hadn't had children?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 8:57am
Oh, alright. I'm sorry you've had to sacrifice so much.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px"> am less fun because someone's got to be the grown-up. I am not going to be inclined to want to stay out until midnight if I know I'll be driving my kid into work at 4;30 am. Up until recently there was always a tendency to put the brakes on spending , etc because we had two kids to educate and that's expensive. I traded a lot of evenings relaxing on the deck with my husband for listening to first-graders read aloud or third-graders recite multiplication tables. I turned down a trip to Egypt when the kids were little because of the remote chance that something would happen and they'd be early orphaned.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px">Sorry to hear that. I have done almost all of those things WITH kids. I do see the less money thing though lol. You CAN be fun AND have kids.</span></p>

I've probably had more fun with kids than before kids, "Almost" everything we do we do with kids too.  It's not that big of a deal b/c I know in the blink of an eye childhood for them is over.  That's one of those things some did tell me about that I do take to heart now, kids grow up tooo fast.....  Where has time gone.. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
I wouldn't be as dramatic as to say I have had to "sacrifice" much in order to raise kids. I think there is a certain amount of drudgery involved in the process. I don't know how people raise kids responsibly without that drudgery, unless they are very wealthy and willing to hired out all the "less fun " parts of parenting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 9:10am
You first said that you would probably be more fun without kids then went on to write out the reasons why.. That sounds like a lot of melodrama myself, Lol. Do you expect to re-find that fun once both boys leave the nest there bord?

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2013
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 9:11am

I didn't say I was "no fun." I said I was "less fun." It is less fun to listen to a first grader read for thirty minutes a night than it is to sit on the deck with a glass of wine and gaze adoringly into my spouse's eyes. Some evenings, duty came before desire. So lively that you didn't have to make any compromises that way, but that has nothing to do with me and my situation.

Why couldn't you have done both? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2013
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 9:17am

I've probably had more fun with kids than before kids, "Almost" everything we do we do with kids too.  It's not that big of a deal b/c I know in the blink of an eye childhood for them is over.  That's one of those things some did tell me about that I do take to heart now, kids grow up tooo fast.....  Where has time gone.. 

I have fun with the kids BUT I also know that I a still a woman, a wife, sister, daughter, friend, co-worker, etc. It is all about balance. If you really want to have fun outside of your kids something will have to go on the back burner to do so (nothing that is priority of course).

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2013
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 9:19am

I wouldn't be as dramatic as to say I have had to "sacrifice" much in order to raise kids. I think there is a certain amount of drudgery involved in the process. I don't know how people raise kids responsibly without that drudgery, unless they are very wealthy and willing to hired out all the "less fun " parts of parenting.

No one I know DON'T have the drudgery but that doesn't mean your ENTIRE life is drudgery. The things you mentioned could have easily been worked out if you truly wanted to do the "fun" things also. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 9:20am
I've always known that I wanted children, even when I didn't know what I wanted to do as an adult, I knew I wanted to be a mom. I think my life would be dramatically different without kids, I would find another way to be fulfilled of course...but I think I would be missing a little something. As for fun, well...parenting is not all fun, but there are great moments of joy mixed in with the not so fun moments. I don't know that there is anything exactly like being a parent, it is quite the roller coaster ride at times.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 9:21am
I am not sure why pure fact sounds like melodrama, but yes, we have already had more free time/fun time for ourselves as the boys have grown older. I have very much enjoyed raising the boys, and have gotten to do different things and some very fun things because of their interests, but I am not one to lie and say it was all rainbows and unicorns when sometimes it was exhausting, difficult, and boring.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998

bordwithyou wrote:
I had them because I really like children and wanted to raise some of my own. We had some fertility issues so I had to confront the possibility of never having biological kids, but never actually thought of not having some kids, somehow. I don't think I would be quite as happy/fulfilled if I'd never become a mother, but I might be more "fun." Even the most wanted and lived kids in the world can suck the fun right out of life occasionally.

LoL....I understand that. 

PumpkinAngel

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