There are already enough children in the world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
There are already enough children in the world.
473
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 3:59pm

Here's an article where 5 women explain why they chose not to have any children.  http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/5-women-explain-why-chose-not-kids-165300500.html

Did you ever think about not having children?  Like some of the women, would you have had more time to enjoy your husband?  Would you be divorced? Wink  Basically, why did you have children instead of not having children?

If you don't have time for the whole article, some of the reasons included 1.) having a fulfilling life already, 2.) growing up with dysfunctional parents or other close relatives/friends who were miserable because they had kids, 3.) getting to sleep in late, travel the world, not spend the money on kids, 4.) a biggie ~ not feeling the maternal impulse.

Would you life be as happy/fun/fulfilled if you hadn't had children?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 12:28pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">mortyswife</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;I do not know where anyone got the idea that I did not and do not do fun things with my kids just because I admit that there is some drudgery involved in parenting.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px"&gt;No you said YOU were less fun because you had kids.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>Yes, that's what Bord said, and that's fine.  From Bord's responses over the many, many years we've all spent here, I believe the latter to be true; I don't know the source for the lack of fun, but I do believe her with regard to the end result.</p>

That's interesting, you remember those posts but were too busy raising children to remember other posts.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 12:32pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">Like your Egypt trip, it can be "saved" for later.  It's not something to blame on the kids.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Exactly. She originally said she did not want to go because she had kids and they might be orphans. I wonder if she did NOT have kids if she would have STILL gone?</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Bord, can you please answer THAT question.</span></span></strong></p>

She did...read the posts.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 12:33pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">What does a plane crash have to do with the Holloway case?  </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Meaning ANYTHING can happen ANYWHERE.</span></strong></p>

Of course, but we aren't talkign about anything happening anywhere but a specific cause for concern.  Do you really not see that some areas are more dangerous for tourists, American tourists than others?  If not, then I suggest you read the newspaper.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 12:34pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">...and yet, here you were this morning and last night.  ;)</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Yep, 12 hours ago which would be 11:35pm, after going to a football game (having fun with my kids) and then this morning BEFORE I go to the car wash with my family. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">And?</span></strong></p>

The double standard is intersting...what makes you think others aren't also out having fun between posting here if you can easily do the exact same thing?  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 12:35pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">Well, I haven't seen any evidence of that here on this board and again...what part of I don't want to have a fb interaction with you is still unclear?  Please stop asking.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">NO ONE asked you to be their FB friend. </span></strong></p>

Good, because I didn't say anything about being friends.  I'm make the statement, again...that I don't care what is posted on your facebook, yet you keep mentioning it over and over to me.  Odd.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 12:41pm
Oh, PKA, I guess we are not supposed to mention the hypocrisy when the argument changes from "Once you have kids you ALWAYS have to put them first," to now you can evidently have it all! Who cares if you never sleep???? Fun, fun, fun 24/7! Yes, that's doing it right!" Saints in heaven!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:20pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px">Hey Bord....remember all the posts over the years about how hard it was to get a babysitter when kids were little, how hard it was to travel with them, how tough it was with kids sometimes and so on and so forth?</p><p style="font-size:13px">Now it's all super easy and fun!  I feel like we have fallen down the rabbit hole into fairy tale land, lol.</p><p style="font-size:13px"><strong>Oh so sorry to hear that. I guess I was lucky that I had family as babysitters so we were able to go out. We also traveled with our kids since they were very little. </strong></p>

No, I remember those few boardies with family as babysitters.  You've been so lucky.  I didn't have that on any regular or meaningful (more than a short time) basis.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:26pm

bordwithyou wrote:
My son is the morning shift supervisor at Starbucks. He has to be there at 4:30 am for the 5 am opening. As for traveling without the kids, I have done it many times over the years, to many places in the world. I did then down a trip to Egypt when it was deemed unsafe for Americans to be there touring. At the time, I believed that the risks outweighed the benefits.

Before you said your kids made your life drudgery includihng that you couldn't travel.  Now you traveled "many times" without kids "to many places in the world."  That doesn't add up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:31pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">Do you have trouble with the concept of "sometimes," Morty? I said that I "sometimes" find socializing exhausting and prefer to stay home and relax. </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">No you have said over and over how exhausting you have found socializing. </span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px">Do you find an evening at home with nothing in the schedule besides a cup of tea and a good book to be frightening?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Frightening? What does that even mean?</span></strong></p>

If I gave it any credence, I'd have a hard time reconciling anyone who chooses decades of public speaking, lecturing in front of students with socializing being "frightening." LOL!

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:36pm

Having children just seemed like a natural progression for me. You get an education, you get married, you get a job ... I never really thought about not having kids.  However, it wasn't a burning desire or passionate goal for me.  If I'd not been able to have kids, I might have been okay with that ... I dunno. 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

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