There are already enough children in the world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
There are already enough children in the world.
473
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 3:59pm

Here's an article where 5 women explain why they chose not to have any children.  http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/5-women-explain-why-chose-not-kids-165300500.html

Did you ever think about not having children?  Like some of the women, would you have had more time to enjoy your husband?  Would you be divorced? Wink  Basically, why did you have children instead of not having children?

If you don't have time for the whole article, some of the reasons included 1.) having a fulfilling life already, 2.) growing up with dysfunctional parents or other close relatives/friends who were miserable because they had kids, 3.) getting to sleep in late, travel the world, not spend the money on kids, 4.) a biggie ~ not feeling the maternal impulse.

Would you life be as happy/fun/fulfilled if you hadn't had children?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:36pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">You don't realize that there is a difference between countries and the safety of tourists in various countries?  </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Ummm..yes and Bord's response was that she didn't want her children orphaned and then it leapt into this. </span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px">You might want to notify the state department because they have a country by country warnings list and I guess according to you that is a waste of tax payer dollars?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Another leap. Where did I say any of this?</span></strong></p>

OMG!  I sure didn't read you even suggesting that.  And lawdy help the person who needs the State Department to tell him not to travel somewhere, lol!  He should crack open a newspaper or go online.  And how slimy for anyone to offer free tickets and room/board in a country people (it's never just tourists) so at risk, they are getting killed.  What nice people!

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:38pm

bordwithyou wrote:
I wouldn't be as dramatic as to say I have had to "sacrifice" much in order to raise kids. I think there is a certain amount of drudgery involved in the process. I don't know how people raise kids responsibly without that drudgery, unless they are very wealthy and willing to hired out all the "less fun " parts of parenting.

There is, imo, a lot of drudgery. But that drudgery is outweighed - by far - by the rewards. 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for NO_BODY
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2013
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:42pm
"No one I know DON'T have the drudgery but that doesn't mean your ENTIRE life is drudgery. The things you mentioned could have easily been worked out if you truly wanted to do the "fun" things also. " Once you have kids your entire life is drudgery.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:42pm
Thardy, I believe that you actually enjoy making a game of pretending I said things I never said. You must know that's not a kind thing to do. In any case, I never said my kids made my life drudgery, nor did I say I couldn't travel because of them. I said there are aspects of parenting that are drudgery, and that we decided not to take one trip because of the small children in our lives.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:44pm
Did anyone say she found socializing frightening? Didn't think so!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:47pm

bordwithyou wrote:
Who visits other parts of the work to "one up others?" How pathetic you would even posit that. I travel for two reasons, mostly: c2) vi enjoy it. 2) it's my job. What any unnamed others might think of my traveling never enters my head. Why should it?

I agree with you that your mode and terms of travel were never going to one up others.  However, other than the State Dept telling everyone ~ parents or child-free ~ not to go to Egypt, I haven't seen kids preventing you from travel.  It's a part of being employed where you are and is taxable income in exchage for monetary compensation.  For instance, in exchange for abyssmal monetary compensation, my young niece gets to go to all of the designers trunk shows and luncheons, Fashion Weeks in other countries, etc. free.  Some jobs just don't offer sufficient monetary compensation to support a family of gnats, so an employer offers perks he can write off but the donee must report as taxable income.

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:53pm

Just because:  and look, Egypt is still on the list.

Current Travel Warnings

Travel Warnings are issued when long-term, protracted conditions that make a country dangerous or unstable lead the State Department to recommend that Americans avoid or consider the risk of travel to that country. A Travel Warning is also issued when the U.S. Government's ability to assist American citizens is constrained due to the closure of an embassy or consulate or because of a drawdown of its staff. The countries listed below meet those criteria.

Turkey    09/06/2013
Lebanon    09/06/2013
Pakistan    09/06/2013
Iraq    09/05/2013
Algeria    08/23/2013
Afghanistan    08/23/2013
Egypt    08/15/2013
Haiti    08/13/2013
El Salvador    08/09/2013
Yemen   08/06/2013
Saudi Arabia   07/25/2013
Mali    07/18/2013
Niger    07/15/2013
Mexico    07/12/2013
Philippines    07/05/2013
Kenya    07/05/2013
Somalia    06/21/2013
Israel, the West Bank and Gaza    06/19/2013
Honduras   06/17/2013
Chad    06/11/2013
Libya    06/07/2013
Nigeria    06/03/2013
Iran    05/24/2013
Mauritania    05/21/2013
Cote d'Ivoire   05/16/2013
Eritrea    05/10/2013
Central African Republic    05/10/2013
Congo, Democratic Republic of the    04/24/2013
Burundi    04/22/2013
Sudan    04/16/2013
Colombia    04/11/2013
Republic of South Sudan   03/29/2013
Korea, Democratic People's Republic of    03/14/2013
Guinea    03/14/2013
Tunisia    03/13/2013
Syria    03/01/2013

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:56pm

thardy2001 wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">bordwithyou</em> wrote:</div>Yes, I tend to be "less fun" when I am doing boring things or exhausting things than when I am feeling stimulated and relaxed. I don't think that is unusual in human beings. That is the way biology works.</blockquote></p><p>More creative writing.  A lot of mothers don't define being with their children as "doing boring things or exhausting things."  I sure don't.  My husband doesn't.  In fact, I don't know of anyone in real life who's come up with that definition.</p>

You must surround yourself with Pollyannas then.  I've done many "boring" and "exhausting" things with/for my children. I've done many fun, exciting and interesting things with/for my children as well.

Shoot, I remember standing in line for several hours so that The Girl could see The Dragon Tales in person.  It was a miserable wait.  However, the joy on her face when she got to hug them was worth every minute.  Drudgery - yes, but worth the rewards.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 1:58pm

Bordwithyou, you're very insulting.  I find it very silly for you to change your stories here and in the "rely on a man" thread after I and others have been diligent in quoting you.  You really can't argue with a quote of your own words.  I do worry how much of this sophistry and chicanery is practiced off board.  Perhaps that's why socializing can be "frightening" to you.  I personally have never found socializing "frightening." 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 2:02pm

savcal2011 wrote:
  You must surround yourself with Pollyannas then.  I've done many "boring" and "exhausting" things with/for my children. I've done many fun, exciting and interesting things with/for my children as well.</p><p>Shoot, I remember standing in line for several hours so that The Girl could see The Dragon Tales in person.  It was a miserable wait.  However, the joy on her face when she got to hug them was worth every minute.  Drudgery - yes, but worth the rewards.</p>

Another insult.  I don't surround myself with any type, certainly not 850 FB supeficial friendships.  And I wouldn't have waited hours on line for the Dragon Tales.  That's something you chose.  Please don't blame your daughter.

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