There are already enough children in the world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
There are already enough children in the world.
473
Thu, 09-19-2013 - 3:59pm

Here's an article where 5 women explain why they chose not to have any children.  http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/5-women-explain-why-chose-not-kids-165300500.html

Did you ever think about not having children?  Like some of the women, would you have had more time to enjoy your husband?  Would you be divorced? Wink  Basically, why did you have children instead of not having children?

If you don't have time for the whole article, some of the reasons included 1.) having a fulfilling life already, 2.) growing up with dysfunctional parents or other close relatives/friends who were miserable because they had kids, 3.) getting to sleep in late, travel the world, not spend the money on kids, 4.) a biggie ~ not feeling the maternal impulse.

Would you life be as happy/fun/fulfilled if you hadn't had children?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2013
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 10:05pm

I lived in military towns for 9 years. I had many friends whose husbands were deployed.  I saw, firsthand, much of the guidance that was given to them in preparation for their return from deployment.

No, I said they were advised to not initiate sex.   1 - advised, not ordered   2 - "to not initiate", not refuse sex

I was interested because they were my friends and they were both excited and apprehensive about their husbands returning from 6 months at sea.  

I KNOW what they were advised. I never indicated that I knew what actually happened.  

So basically you brought this up, WHY? You don't really know if anyone listened to this supposed guidance but you baited me to see if I was experienced with this while YOU, YOURSELF have NO clue if ANYONE actually listens to these "rules". Gotcha

Psstt...."normal" men and women who are apart for, say, even a FEW days can NOT resist. Sounds like your experience in this has been very different. Sorry Cry

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2013
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 10:06pm

What makes you think they were private documents?

I'm sorry, were they distributed to the public, NON-military families? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 10:06pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p><strong><span style="background-color:#f6f6f6">"</span><span style="background-color:#f6f6f6; font-size:13px">Reminds me  of the guidance that military wives are given when their husbands are coming home from deployment. They are highly encouraged to not initiate sex ... for several days."</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px">I didn't say they weren't allowed to have intimacy. </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Yes, you did, for several days.</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px">And it isn't "hearsay" as I saw and read the guidance documents.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Why would you be interested in these and why would someone come out and show someone these?</span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size:13px">I said nothing about what happened in their bedrooms the night they came home. I'm not crass enough to ask those questions.</span></p><p><span style="font-size:13px">So you really do NOT know but you said that </span><strong><span style="background-color:#f6f6f6; font-size:13px">They are highly encouraged to not initiate sex ... for several days." </span></strong></p>

Well...you don't really know either and you are making up all kinds of things about this situation and bords.

Oh and you might want to read that again because didn't it say to not initiate?  Which of course isn't the same thing as not allowed.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">AND ... if your answer had been "no" that would have been a possible explanation as to why you'd never heard this</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Nope, I never did hear this as WELL as my MILITARY veteran dh. BAER.</span></span></strong></p>

Since your DH was not married when he was active duty then neither him or his spouse would have attended a class geared towards making the transistion back. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 10:08pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">I found thardys comment interesting, falsely directed at bord of course since it wasn't her who introduced the topic but you....how unkind of her to say such things about a "friend".</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">I don't CARE what the HECK Thardy said, that was just UNCALLED for. </span></strong></p>

Why yes, many of her posts are uncalled for, I agree.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 10:09pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">"I didn't say they weren't allowed to have intimacy. And it isn't "hearsay" as I saw and read the guidance documents. I said nothing about what happened in their bedrooms the night they came home. I'm not crass enough to ask those questions." That really would be crass!</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">But not crass enough to read private guidance documents that are intended for military wifes? Yeah, gotcha.</span></strong></p>

She didn't say they were private.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 10:09pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">I lived in military towns for 9 years. I had many friends whose husbands were deployed.  I saw, firsthand, much of the guidance that was given to them in preparation for their return from deployment.</span></strong></p><p style="font-size:13px">No, I said they were advised to not initiate sex.   1 - advised, not ordered   2 - "to not initiate", not refuse sex</p><p style="font-size:13px">I was interested because they were my friends and they were both excited and apprehensive about their husbands returning from 6 months at sea.  </p><p style="font-size:13px">I KNOW what they were advised. I never indicated that I knew what actually happened.  </p><p style="font-size:13px"><strong>So basically you brought this up, WHY? You don't really know if anyone listened to this supposed guidance but you baited me to see if I was experienced with this while YOU, YOURSELF have NO clue if ANYONE actually listens to these "rules". Gotcha</strong></p><p style="font-size:13px"><strong>Psstt...."normal" men and women who are apart for, say, even a FEW days can NOT resist. Sounds like your experience in this has been very different. Sorry <img src="/forums/sites/all/libraries/tinymce/jscripts/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-cry.gif" alt="Cry" title="Cry" border="0" /></strong></p>

I've not been talking about or discussing *my* experience at all. And I won't.   I didn't make any indication as to whether or not the wives listened to the advice (they weren't RULES - something else you made up). 

If you can't see the relevance to the earlier discussion, then that isn't my problem.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 10:16pm

mortyswife wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">Why are you so obessed with bord's personal life with her dh?  You introduced the subject, you have made up things about the subject and you continue to talk about this....why?  Talk about a strange diversion when one can't debate the topic.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>Ummmm....I did NOT introduce the subject. We just went through this, please re-read the thread.</span></span></strong></p>

Oh you believe that made up version of the truth?  No, you introduced the subject as a response to your made up comments about fun, when you were trying to create a diversion from that made up story.

<<I'm sorry, I'm not qualified to answer a question like "what is life without fun?" I simply wouldn't know.

Your dh just came home from a 3 week vacation and you are on HERE? Talk about not knowing how to have fun. Bawahhhaaa....>>

mortyswife wrote:

<p><span style="font-size:13px">I don't think fluff questions like " ketchup or mustard" make you look dumb, Morty. But if you think they do, why do you ask them?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Oh my.....again, didn't your dh come home today? You are on this board instead of with him after 3 weeks? You have SOOOOOOME will power. lol.</span></strong></p>

So again...why are you so obessed with her personal life with her dh?   

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 10:21pm

<<So basically you brought this up, WHY? You don't really know if anyone listened to this supposed guidance but you baited me to see if I was experienced with this while YOU, YOURSELF have NO clue if ANYONE actually listens to these "rules". Gotcha>>

Nobody said they were rules any more than they said they were private and not allowed contact.  Why do you continue to make things up?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 09-23-2013 - 10:38pm
PKA, I'll have a couple of students with me. We will be leaving campus around 2:15; probably get to you too soon to stop for dinner, unfortunately. You don't know a decent place to eat in Mt Vernon, IL, do you?

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