Is there a real difference?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Is there a real difference?
172
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 3:56pm
Is there a SAHM "type" and a WOHM "type" of woman, or is the choice more dependent on circumstances? If you are one or the other, are there circumstances you could imagine switching roles, or are you "programmed" to be one or the other? If you are "programmed" who or what do you think is reponsible for your programming?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 08-17-2009 - 9:58am

The reason I don't include the work information when filling out paperwork is because the question is typically being asked as a way of contacting me. The forms will typically say something like "Employer" and "Work Phone Number." Since I work so few hours at one of the jobs and not on any specific day or time, it's pointless to use that as a contact number - it's highly unlikely I would be reachable at that number. The other job I do from home so again, it's not necessary to provide it. I'm not sure why my doctor's office would need to know my employer and work number either. If anyone needs to reach me, their best bet is my home or cell phone.

I'm not asking you to laugh off or omit anything about your work status or parenting status. I just don't see why I need to label myself as one thing when it's an incredibly small part of what my life consists is on a daily basis. If someone asks if I work, I'm honest with them. It's not like I'm trying to hide the information but if it comes up in conversation or is relevant to a form I'm being asked to fill out, then sure, I'll indicate it. However, I certainly have never said to anyone, "I'm a stay at home mom" or I'm a working mom. I just don't use those terms in real life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 08-17-2009 - 10:46am
Exactly. Which is why I don't really think of myself much as a WOH mom b/c I hardly work. I'm sure if I worked more hours or if I was working in a field that I strongly identified with as being part of me as a person, then I'd feel differently. I'm not hiding the fact that I do work, I talk about it when relevant and people who know me well do know that I work for two of my neighbors. I don't lie about it but I also don't call myself a SAHM either. Working is really such a small part of my life that right now, I don't really think much about it in terms of what I do at this point in my life. I do plan to work many more hours once my kids are all in school. I don't see SAH as a status (though I'm sure in certain social circles it is seen that way, but not where I live). I don't label people I know IRL according to their work status.

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