Is there a real difference?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Is there a real difference?
172
Mon, 07-27-2009 - 3:56pm
Is there a SAHM "type" and a WOHM "type" of woman, or is the choice more dependent on circumstances? If you are one or the other, are there circumstances you could imagine switching roles, or are you "programmed" to be one or the other? If you are "programmed" who or what do you think is reponsible for your programming?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 08-17-2009 - 10:46am
Exactly. Which is why I don't really think of myself much as a WOH mom b/c I hardly work. I'm sure if I worked more hours or if I was working in a field that I strongly identified with as being part of me as a person, then I'd feel differently. I'm not hiding the fact that I do work, I talk about it when relevant and people who know me well do know that I work for two of my neighbors. I don't lie about it but I also don't call myself a SAHM either. Working is really such a small part of my life that right now, I don't really think much about it in terms of what I do at this point in my life. I do plan to work many more hours once my kids are all in school. I don't see SAH as a status (though I'm sure in certain social circles it is seen that way, but not where I live). I don't label people I know IRL according to their work status.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 08-17-2009 - 9:58am

The reason I don't include the work information when filling out paperwork is because the question is typically being asked as a way of contacting me. The forms will typically say something like "Employer" and "Work Phone Number." Since I work so few hours at one of the jobs and not on any specific day or time, it's pointless to use that as a contact number - it's highly unlikely I would be reachable at that number. The other job I do from home so again, it's not necessary to provide it. I'm not sure why my doctor's office would need to know my employer and work number either. If anyone needs to reach me, their best bet is my home or cell phone.

I'm not asking you to laugh off or omit anything about your work status or parenting status. I just don't see why I need to label myself as one thing when it's an incredibly small part of what my life consists is on a daily basis. If someone asks if I work, I'm honest with them. It's not like I'm trying to hide the information but if it comes up in conversation or is relevant to a form I'm being asked to fill out, then sure, I'll indicate it. However, I certainly have never said to anyone, "I'm a stay at home mom" or I'm a working mom. I just don't use those terms in real life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 9:14am

i'm sorry my words were taken to mean something so criminal,no.


the keys to his truck were on the counter for me to open and help ourselves to a snack with.

 

Avatar for mommy2amani
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-13-2009 - 7:50am

<You taught the kids to break into their dad's truck? >


That's exactly what I was thinking!

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 08-12-2009 - 9:21pm
You taught the kids to break into their dad's truck?
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-12-2009 - 9:00pm
If it's really organic (and I'm thinking of locally grown organic), it tastes waaaay better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 08-12-2009 - 5:39pm
No, I don't either. One the other hand, if one goes to work, and finds out that she can still be a great parent, and her kids can still thrive, and she can still volunteer at church and at the kids' school, and still do everything important to her, and yet work outside the home, she might find out that she owes an apology to all the involved, caring WOHMs she's spent the last decade dissing. And that would be humiliating. Better to pretend the job doesn't exist, or that if the job does exist, it's somehow different from all the job other people have that make them lesser parents.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-12-2009 - 5:36pm

I guess I have a hard time wrapping my brain around this because of the need to have a status so much.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Wed, 08-12-2009 - 5:28pm

<>

I mean that it becomes up to them to decide which term best describes how they view their life. If someone's idea of "SAHP" is someone who is home during the day, then it's possible that they might consider themselves to be a SAHM even though they WOH at night. If someone's idea of a "SAHP" is someone who doesn't work for pay at all under any circumstances, then they would consider themselves to be a WOHM because they work at night.

I would agree with either label (SAHM or WOHM) for that person IRL. On this board, for the purposes of debate, I would argue that they are a WOHM.












iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Wed, 08-12-2009 - 5:26pm
Yes, perhaps. As Keats put it, Truth is beauty, beauty truth. Lies usually lead to some kind of ugliness. Even, or especially when, the person to whom one is lying worst is oneself.

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