>>Do you think it's better for a woman like me, who would be miserable AH, to give up her career just to have a happy baby (assuming that would do it)? << no. i think you're in a position you're good at and happy at doing. i would presume that happiness does rub off on your boys,too..but it does beg the question of why a typical sah/woh argument always revolves around being able to afford full college rides for your kids,nanny arrangement,other affluent perks instead of just saying you're happier woh than sah?
Children are very perceptive, they can feel/sense/know when a parent is tense or anxious or unsure or calm or relaxed or confident. If a mother feels relaxed, calm and confident she is going to impart that relaxed, calm and secure feeling to her child.
Happiness is a lot *bigger* than whether or not something is pleasant. Happiness is living one's life their own way, making the choices that are most appropriate for one's lifestyle and being comfortable enough in one's own skin and choices to be able to live life confidently in a forward moving direction.
"but it does beg the question of why a typical sah/woh argument always revolves around being able to afford full college rides for your kids,nanny arrangement,other affluent perks instead of just saying you're happier woh than sah?"
Because some people think Mom's happiness isn't a good enough reason for her to WOH.
I'm not saying that mom has to be the only one tending to baby's needs, nor that all moms need to stay at home, or anything else. Only that I don't believe for a minute that happy mom=happy baby. If the mom is really really unhappy with a clingy baby but the baby is, like it or not, really clingy, and every time mom tries to get the baby to just grow up, become more independant, live a bit without her being nearby...it doesn't mean the BABY will be happier just b/c the mom is happier without feeling like she is a piece of baby furniture. The baby will be happy when HIS or her needs are met.
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>>Do you think it's better for a woman like me, who would be miserable AH, to give up her career just to have a happy baby (assuming that would do it)? <<
no. i think you're in a position you're good at and happy at doing. i would presume that happiness does rub off on your boys,too..but it does beg the question of why a typical sah/woh argument always revolves around being able to afford full college rides for your kids,nanny arrangement,other affluent perks instead of just saying you're happier woh than sah?
i think a happy parent does breed a happy kid.
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Children are very perceptive, they can feel/sense/know when a parent is tense or anxious or unsure or calm or relaxed or confident. If a mother feels relaxed, calm and confident she is going to impart that relaxed, calm and secure feeling to her child.
Happiness is a lot *bigger* than whether or not something is pleasant. Happiness is living one's life their own way, making the choices that are most appropriate for one's lifestyle and being comfortable enough in one's own skin and choices to be able to live life confidently in a forward moving direction.
It's a joke.
PumpkinAngel
"but it does beg the question of why a typical sah/woh argument always revolves around being able to afford full college rides for your kids,nanny arrangement,other affluent perks instead of just saying you're happier woh than sah?"
Because some people think Mom's happiness isn't a good enough reason for her to WOH.
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Edited 4/20/2007 2:29 pm ET by janetlynn_64
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I'm not saying that mom has to be the only one tending to baby's needs, nor that all moms need to stay at home, or anything else. Only that I don't believe for a minute that happy mom=happy baby. If the mom is really really unhappy with a clingy baby but the baby is, like it or not, really clingy, and every time mom tries to get the baby to just grow up, become more independant, live a bit without her being nearby...it doesn't mean the BABY will be happier just b/c the mom is happier without feeling like she is a piece of baby furniture. The baby will be happy when HIS or her needs are met.
Fio
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