Thoughts about this??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Thoughts about this??
3946
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 11:53am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 4:33pm

I would not force her to give it up either, none of my children where thumb suckers or used pacifiers. they were all blankie kids.

I did though i sucked my thumb for a long time. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 4:34pm
ITA very well said.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 4:36pm

How about this for backing it up that it isn't babying a child who can drink from a cup to keep nursing:

a) kids around the world are nursed many years after they start drinking with cups

b) it is normal mammalian behaviour to nurse for many years; the smarter the mammal, the longer the nursing continues

c) human beings are not obliged to drink from only one recipiant. sippy cups are one way, bottles are another, straws are another, open cups, great, sports bottles, fine...and nipples are JUST ANOTHER WAY TO DRINK.

Fio

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2005
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 4:43pm

Smoking or not is *not* a fundamental part of happiness (at least not in the way I defined it as making choices that are most appropriate for one's lifestyle). And based on the fundamental definition of prerogative, I don't think smoking falls in that category anyway, because it assumes that it is something to which someone has a just claim. IMHO a "just claim" is something that is protected either by the international community (human rights) or by one's homeland.

I said (first post): >>Happiness is a lot *bigger* than whether or not something is pleasant. Happiness is living one's life their own way, making the choices that are most appropriate for one's lifestyle and being comfortable enough in one's own skin and choices to be able to live life confidently in a forward moving direction<<

Then I said (second post): >>I never said that the baby's needs are taking a backburner to the mother's feelings. I said that happiness is more than whether or not something is pleasant. Happiness is made of making one's own best choices and being confident in them.
<<

Perhaps what I should have originally said is that we're all responsible for our own happiness, and if we're not happy then we can't be our best to others. And I suppose in that same vein, we're all responsible for our own education, and if we're not well educated than we cannot inform others. There are going to be times when babies cry; there are going to be times when adults are unhappy; but deep down inside if we are happy with the choices we've made then we will be better suited to meet the needs of others in a way that doesn't leave them feeling like they're another "to do" on an endless list.

I do not know how to make this any clearer without delving into personal experience that I am not sharing on a public debate board; suffice it to say, in my own personal life, I am much better able to care for others (or to see that their needs are met in the best way possible if I am not the best person to care for them) if I am happy and taking care of myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 4:50pm

I do not blame you for feeling that way.

I have been attacked myself numerous times. The great thing about it is the posts have been removed. I did not report them.

YEAH ivillage!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 5:11pm
And Mom needs her needs and even some of her wants met to feel like a whole, separate, independent being and not simply a life giving baby appendage.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 5:13pm
I wouldn't have let a baby of mine be in physical contact with me practically 24/7 for 18 to 24 months, because I would have to be placed in an insane asylum. Seriously, I'm not poking fun at mental illness. No matter how unhappy that made baby.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 5:15pm

We made the decision that even if our children look back when they're grown and say they wish I'd BF until they were 8 or SAH, that DH and I are big enough to tell them they are entirely free to do as they wish with their children, as we did with ours.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 5:18pm

FIO!!! are you talking about co-sleeping? We may have a common ground...We are a co-sleeping family, but every child had a room and a crib.

I love co-sleeping, we did it with each one. Iam trying to break my almost three year old of it now, he has a great car bed with a great cars theme bedset and lovely soft comfy blankets...but he still wnat's to sleep with me.

I have to be honest, dh by now it not real happy bout it. :)




Edited 4/20/2007 5:42 pm ET by xenozany
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 5:47pm
Um no nipples are for babies and little children to drink. I do not offer my neighbor to drink from my nipple.

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