Thoughts about this??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Thoughts about this??
3946
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 11:53am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 7:35am

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I think I understand your decision to do child-led weaning/extended breastfeeding. I reluctantly started the weaning process when the baby hit age 1. It is really hard after weaning to have several times a day of siiting-still and forgetting-the-world time together again. The bond changes and maybe is never that lovely again.

But if you were to ask some adults about knowing one's mother bf beyond 1 yr, I think most in the US would be uncomfortable. I'm glad my mother didn't do it. And others here have said that. So, those feelings are real too and can't just be dismissed by saying, every child is different. If we could predict the future, then we could say our child would be okay with a mother who went so far out of the norm. But since we can't, I still think it's better to end bf'ing when the child is still a baby.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 7:49am

Are you not going to bf at all because you're happy to look back on not being bf as the preferable choice?

My mom and I have a good relationship. She didn't bf us and I don't care one way or the other. But she is a little standoff-ish and was never one to hug or be touchy-feely, though I love her dearly and we speak everyday. But I wonder if some could argue the decision not to try to bf at all is one made out of a lack of emotionalism? Is it the opposite of the ick factor we'd feel if we were bf at age 5 and 6? Would the decision not to bf take something away from the mother/child bond?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 8:02am
I agree. I think disgusted was too strong a word.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 8:09am

From the article:

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Honestly, the best protection against illness until the child is age 2 and his immune system fully formed is to keep him housebound for those 2 years, with no school-age sibling contact! But we can't all do that, can we? My children have all SAH and I would think that combined, my children had fewer ailments until they began school than your one child in daycare. I'm not being mean, I'm just stating something about the immune system - decrease the germ exposure, decrease the illnesses.

While the article says the immune system is almost completely formed by age 2, that is NOT the same as saying bm for 2 years will reduce ailments. Again, the daycare example. Also, there's nothing to say that 1 full year of the mother's antibodies and bm being manufactured in response to the contact with the child and the little germies on the baby that first year is not enough to best protect him.

I'm surprised that, since you're a scientist, you give much weight to the IQ argument. That's one aspect of bf'ing I never believed. I think we're born with a certain IQ which is pretty much immutable. Though we can all do things to become better listeners, to be more sensitive, learned, book-smart, etc. I just don't see any scientific connection between IQ and bm. Forgetting the authorities, why do you think bm is connected to increasing IQ?

There are lots of things the authorities say about the benefits of bf'ing that I simply believe are taken on faith without any scientific link to bm. For instance, I bf mine for 1 yr each. They were chubsters, and finally returned to the 50th percentile for weight only after I stopped bf'ing. So that whole - bf or your child will become obese - I don't think can be scientifically supported.




Edited 3/31/2007 8:21 am ET by matoeric
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 8:11am

I WAS breastfed and intend to breastfeed. What I said was Im glad I have no memory of breastfeeding. (Like the 8 year old little girl obviously will).

My mother is a very touchy-feely, open person. Up until I was a teenager I would sometimes plop down on her lap and hang out there talking to her. She hugs everyone and will absent mindedly pet you if you are within arms reach.

She did not breastfeed my older sister at all. Breastfed me a few months past a year and breastfed my younger brother for about 6 months. She is no different toward any of us.

I dont think breastfeeding has anything to do with being emotional or open towards your kids. Holding a baby in your arms and giving him/her a bottle creates the same type of snuggly, warm "mom-baby" time as breastfeeding.

IMO a person's aloofness is usually due more to personality or how that person was raised.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 8:11am
I think that's where the bf'ing advocates lose a lot of credibility with me. I bf and I'm still not sure it's any better for a child than formula.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 8:15am
The same can be said about spanking and yelling at a child. Or in the video linked above where the mother still bf'ing the child at age 3 literally *yanks* the crying 3 yo across the family bed. If it works for the family and if the child's arm doesn't come off upon being yanked, why should society's discomfort discourage abusive relationships?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 11:25am

ITA!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 1:25pm
No, you're just missing it mostly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sat, 03-31-2007 - 1:32pm
"Nursing is about sexual stimulation." That statement is completely false. Nursing is not about sexual stimulation, it is about feeding and comforting.

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