"Okay but do you think the children would still feel that way about the breasts if they weren't nursed for so long? It all seems to be a bit related."
Of course it's related! I don't see what's creepy about it though. It's obviously not any kind of sexual interest, so really what is the harm?
FTR My daughter is kind of fascinated with breasts too, and she didn't BF past 3 months. They hold some kind of mystical appeal to her, I guess because they're a very tangible symbol of female adulthood that she quite obviously does not have, as well as a visible difference between men and women. Even when she was two or three she'd yell "boobies!" if she saw me (or her grandma) dressing. She notices if I buy a new bra. She has asked me why women have breasts. She asked me if she had breastfed when she was a baby. I quite clearly remember asking my mom the same things at that age.
What I would want to know before judging whether or not this was actually a problem for the child is whether they are developing normally on a social scale, how they were able to handle stress when away from mom, whether they are eating normally otherwise, whether they feel stressed or embarrassed about nursing... A lot of assumptions are being flung around about how breastfeeding a school age child will supposedly create all these attachment issues, an inability to self-soothe, unhealthy sexuality, and I just don't see any evidence of that. It's all just assumptions.
"I'm sure many would think I am taking a risk with my youngest as I haven't made him give up his baby blanket, a blanket that he has sleeps with and has slept with since he was 3 days old. He's very attached to blanky and I'm sure that he won't be taking it on his honeymoon and that he has fine coping abilities despite the fact that I am coddling him by allowing him to keep this blanket."
ITA. My daughter slept with me nightly until she was five, and still will sleep with me occassionally under certain situations. Like the mom in the video, I have to have rules to be able to sleep in peace, because she'd gladly sleep with me every night if allowed it. She is perfectly able to sleep in her own bed, and she has had no issues developmentally, or dealing with stress, or any of that other nonsense. But I'm sure that many people feel a 7 year old should never sleep in her mom's bed, and that I'm holding her back somehow by letting her.
"If you really believe it's so healthy and is not harmful, then why don't you breastfeed your 3 yo out in public?"
There are plenty of things that are healthy and not harmful but are not appropriate in public, as well as plenty of things that are healthy and not harmful that people aren't comfortable doing in public for their own reasons. I think it's healthy and not harmful to sing songs with my daughter, but I'm not comfortable doing it in public!
"That's why extended breastfeeders limit themselves to their homes most often. They clearly know they are harming their children."
HOW are they harming their children? Do you sleep in public? Do you use the bathroom in public (not talking about public restrooms)? Do you go bra-less in public? Are these things wrong too?
It seems like that because you keep saying that it's "inappropriate" and things like "There are many things parents do in provate, i respect that, however by the time the child is school aged for the well being of the kid, wean."
To me this indicates that you feel the well being of the child is in peril if they continue to breastfeed, yet I have seen no evidence that this is the case. It is casting judgement in my mind to feel that these people are harming their children when you have no way of knowing that. You are assuming that BF a school aged child is intrinsically harmful.
"Why would a child entering middle school need their mothers breat to suckle for comfort?"
Middle school now? Who is breastfeeding a middleschooler? If you are talking about your friend with the mentally retarded child, do you really hold that child to the same developmental standards as a child of average intelligence?
No one has claimed the it's a necessity to nurse school aged children, so why do you keep saying that? Why must it be a necessity? My mother read to my sister and I every night until I was in high school. She didn't NEED to read to us. We were perfectly capable of reading ourselves. We just enjoyed spending that time together. So was that inappropriate too?
"No, I don't care to go back and link. But I think JCA and I have said this. "
Actually, jca2004 quite specifically said:
"Also I have said nothing about 3-4 yo's. I would never do it but it is not disgusting to me. For the last time, school aged children should not still be nursing. Enough is enough. "
I had the impression that other than you, this was pretty much the response of everyone who disagreed with the 8 yo nursing. So unless you can show that someone else set the cutoff at 1 year, it seems to me that you are very much in a minority of one in this thread with the opinion that there is an ick factor in nursing a baby past the 1 year mark. That matches my irl experience as well...the vast majority have no issues with bf until a child is about 2-3. The "ick" factor seems to hit for the majority somewhere around age 4-5.
"If there are not enough ppl following EXTREME attachemnet parenting they would have not made it a news broadcast."
So "extreme" attachment parenting is defined as what? Nursing a 3 year old? A 5 year old? Only a child who is in school? At what point is it considered extreme? How many people do you really think there are nursing school aged children? If it's that common then surely there should be some studies that show whether or not it's harmful.
Maybe because of the attitudes of the public? I'll never get why people are perfectly fine with women showing their goods in the latest fashions but nursing in public is just off limits.
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"Okay but do you think the children would still feel that way about the breasts if they weren't nursed for so long? It all seems to be a bit related."
Of course it's related! I don't see what's creepy about it though. It's obviously not any kind of sexual interest, so really what is the harm?
FTR My daughter is kind of fascinated with breasts too, and she didn't BF past 3 months. They hold some kind of mystical appeal to her, I guess because they're a very tangible symbol of female adulthood that she quite obviously does not have, as well as a visible difference between men and women. Even when she was two or three she'd yell "boobies!" if she saw me (or her grandma) dressing. She notices if I buy a new bra. She has asked me why women have breasts. She asked me if she had breastfed when she was a baby. I quite clearly remember asking my mom the same things at that age.
What I would want to know before judging whether or not this was actually a problem for the child is whether they are developing normally on a social scale, how they were able to handle stress when away from mom, whether they are eating normally otherwise, whether they feel stressed or embarrassed about nursing... A lot of assumptions are being flung around about how breastfeeding a school age child will supposedly create all these attachment issues, an inability to self-soothe, unhealthy sexuality, and I just don't see any evidence of that. It's all just assumptions.
"I'm sure many would think I am taking a risk with my youngest as I haven't made him give up his baby blanket, a blanket that he has sleeps with and has slept with since he was 3 days old. He's very attached to blanky and I'm sure that he won't be taking it on his honeymoon and that he has fine coping abilities despite the fact that I am coddling him by allowing him to keep this blanket."
ITA. My daughter slept with me nightly until she was five, and still will sleep with me occassionally under certain situations. Like the mom in the video, I have to have rules to be able to sleep in peace, because she'd gladly sleep with me every night if allowed it. She is perfectly able to sleep in her own bed, and she has had no issues developmentally, or dealing with stress, or any of that other nonsense. But I'm sure that many people feel a 7 year old should never sleep in her mom's bed, and that I'm holding her back somehow by letting her.
"If you really believe it's so healthy and is not harmful, then why don't you breastfeed your 3 yo out in public?"
There are plenty of things that are healthy and not harmful but are not appropriate in public, as well as plenty of things that are healthy and not harmful that people aren't comfortable doing in public for their own reasons. I think it's healthy and not harmful to sing songs with my daughter, but I'm not comfortable doing it in public!
"That's why extended breastfeeders limit themselves to their homes most often. They clearly know they are harming their children."
HOW are they harming their children? Do you sleep in public? Do you use the bathroom in public (not talking about public restrooms)? Do you go bra-less in public? Are these things wrong too?
"If it seems like iam castin judgment, my bad."
It seems like that because you keep saying that it's "inappropriate" and things like "There are many things parents do in provate, i respect that, however by the time the child is school aged for the well being of the kid, wean."
To me this indicates that you feel the well being of the child is in peril if they continue to breastfeed, yet I have seen no evidence that this is the case. It is casting judgement in my mind to feel that these people are harming their children when you have no way of knowing that. You are assuming that BF a school aged child is intrinsically harmful.
"Why would a child entering middle school need their mothers breat to suckle for comfort?"
Middle school now? Who is breastfeeding a middleschooler? If you are talking about your friend with the mentally retarded child, do you really hold that child to the same developmental standards as a child of average intelligence?
"No, I don't care to go back and link. But I think JCA and I have said this. "
Actually, jca2004 quite specifically said:
"Also I have said nothing about 3-4 yo's. I would never do it but it is not disgusting to me. For the last time, school aged children should not still be nursing. Enough is enough. "
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-pssahwoh/?msg=17679.457
I had the impression that other than you, this was pretty much the response of everyone who disagreed with the 8 yo nursing. So unless you can show that someone else set the cutoff at 1 year, it seems to me that you are very much in a minority of one in this thread with the opinion that there is an ick factor in nursing a baby past the 1 year mark. That matches my irl experience as well...the vast majority have no issues with bf until a child is about 2-3. The "ick" factor seems to hit for the majority somewhere around age 4-5.
"If there are not enough ppl following EXTREME attachemnet parenting they would have not made it a news broadcast."
So "extreme" attachment parenting is defined as what? Nursing a 3 year old? A 5 year old? Only a child who is in school? At what point is it considered extreme? How many people do you really think there are nursing school aged children? If it's that common then surely there should be some studies that show whether or not it's harmful.
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