In today's economy, how can U stay home?
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| Mon, 08-07-2006 - 2:46pm |
I am 33 and am basically now sadly coming to the conclusion that we just can't have kids. I just don't know how people do it. In order to afford our mortgage, my husband and I both have to work full-time. And we bought a home in the least expensive market we could find in proximity to our jobs, so we commute up to four hours a day to make this work.
However, we both agreed, long long ago that we would only have kids if we could raise them ourselves. We just can't in good conscience reconcile the idea of having children and then handing them off to some stranger who is making close to minimum wages to rear them, and who can't possibly care about them as much as we do. And what would be the point? We would miss all their development and "firsts" and wouldn't be a close family, and they would grow up with attachment issues due to rapidly changing daycare staffing. No, if we can't do it the right way, we don't want to do it at all. We feel it's selfish to have them because WE WANT them; we decided long ago only to have them if we felt we could give them a wonderful life filled with love, hope, and opportunity.
So I am getting up there in age now, and I don't see things changing. The only people I see around me having children are people who 1) have family who live close by and can take care of their kids, 2) rich people, or women who marry rich men to be more specific, and 3) people whose families help them out financially.
Is there a chance for two people like us to have a family, when we don't have any of the above advantages? It doesn't seem like it should be THIS impossible! We're both hard workers who make decent money TOGETHER. Separately, it's not enough, but together, it's a good amount.
HOW could we make it happen? I have heard that having children after 34 the risks just go up and up and up, that they may not be healthy...

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I've given my reasoning for that and no one has come up with a counter argument other than "Ain't so".
Don't you think societies put their money where their beliefs are? Don't you think the kinds of things society will pay for are telling as to their beliefs? Societies don't decide to spend large amounts of money making something happen unless they believe it's the right thing to do. So what does it say when a society will pay moms not to return to work until their babies are whatever arbitrary age they've chosen if it doesn't say they think working during this time is something to be avoided?
Do they give the same funds to moms who stay in the work force? If not, why not if it's not intended to be an enticement to SAH. I'm sure WM's could use the money to pay for excellent day care which would be a benefit for their children.
Edited 8/28/2006 10:57 pm ET by kbmammm
LOL. Perhaps you should look at your data in the light of day then. I have no special light. If it can't stand up to my scrutiny, it's very weak. I'm not an expert in debunking twisted data by any means.
I take it you're getting all of your data from pro SAH sites. I'd suggest you look at all of the data not just what they post there that furturs their cause. Being manipulated isn't a good thing.
"Do they give the same funds to moms who stay in the work force?"
Uh, no. That is why its called maternity leave.
Do you give disability pay to people who are not disabled through work? (not counting those who fraud the system)
All I can offer is that I haven't met a single person in canada who thinks we're being pressured to SAH. It seems only an outsider who knows nothing how life is like up here, and knos nothing of the specifics of our programs, thinks we hate working mothers. Go email our government and ask about their evil plan
"I've given my reasoning for that..."
You have offered an assumption and NO proof whatsoever.
You THINK that the government doesn't like working moms. You do not KNOW it.
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