In today's economy, how can U stay home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2004
In today's economy, how can U stay home?
1500
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 2:46pm


I am 33 and am basically now sadly coming to the conclusion that we just can't have kids. I just don't know how people do it. In order to afford our mortgage, my husband and I both have to work full-time. And we bought a home in the least expensive market we could find in proximity to our jobs, so we commute up to four hours a day to make this work.

However, we both agreed, long long ago that we would only have kids if we could raise them ourselves. We just can't in good conscience reconcile the idea of having children and then handing them off to some stranger who is making close to minimum wages to rear them, and who can't possibly care about them as much as we do. And what would be the point? We would miss all their development and "firsts" and wouldn't be a close family, and they would grow up with attachment issues due to rapidly changing daycare staffing. No, if we can't do it the right way, we don't want to do it at all. We feel it's selfish to have them because WE WANT them; we decided long ago only to have them if we felt we could give them a wonderful life filled with love, hope, and opportunity.

So I am getting up there in age now, and I don't see things changing. The only people I see around me having children are people who 1) have family who live close by and can take care of their kids, 2) rich people, or women who marry rich men to be more specific, and 3) people whose families help them out financially.

Is there a chance for two people like us to have a family, when we don't have any of the above advantages? It doesn't seem like it should be THIS impossible! We're both hard workers who make decent money TOGETHER. Separately, it's not enough, but together, it's a good amount.

HOW could we make it happen? I have heard that having children after 34 the risks just go up and up and up, that they may not be healthy...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 10:52am

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PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 10:53am

It's also offered to men.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 11:32am

Whew!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 11:33am

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I know that WHO recommends as a global strategy to breastfeed for 2 years, with an emphasis on the first 6 months, as a global strategy.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 11:36am

My kids enjoyed food much more than nursing, especially feeding themselves.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 11:39am

<<lol... "The effect wears off"... Um no! If your kid is influenced while attending d/c it doesn't just go away. Anything your taught is stuck with you good or bad. You can choose to act on it or not. >>


Depends on what you are talking about.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 11:47am

The only person I know who breastfeed well past the age of 2 was the owner of the preschool that my youngest attended for a year.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 12:08pm

"Actually, bottles date back to 1500 BC and baby formula was invented in 1867. So I am not sure what exactly you mean by historically didn't have access?"

I meant "historically," long before 1500 BC. Babies are physically adapted to nurse much longer than to 6 months of age, and female bodies are adapted to support that need.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 12:16pm

"My kids enjoyed food much more than nursing, especially feeding themselves."

At six months? Mine had just started solids, per the AAP recommendation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 12:20pm

Long before 1500BC?

PumpkinAngel

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