In today's economy, how can U stay home?
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| Mon, 08-07-2006 - 2:46pm |
I am 33 and am basically now sadly coming to the conclusion that we just can't have kids. I just don't know how people do it. In order to afford our mortgage, my husband and I both have to work full-time. And we bought a home in the least expensive market we could find in proximity to our jobs, so we commute up to four hours a day to make this work.
However, we both agreed, long long ago that we would only have kids if we could raise them ourselves. We just can't in good conscience reconcile the idea of having children and then handing them off to some stranger who is making close to minimum wages to rear them, and who can't possibly care about them as much as we do. And what would be the point? We would miss all their development and "firsts" and wouldn't be a close family, and they would grow up with attachment issues due to rapidly changing daycare staffing. No, if we can't do it the right way, we don't want to do it at all. We feel it's selfish to have them because WE WANT them; we decided long ago only to have them if we felt we could give them a wonderful life filled with love, hope, and opportunity.
So I am getting up there in age now, and I don't see things changing. The only people I see around me having children are people who 1) have family who live close by and can take care of their kids, 2) rich people, or women who marry rich men to be more specific, and 3) people whose families help them out financially.
Is there a chance for two people like us to have a family, when we don't have any of the above advantages? It doesn't seem like it should be THIS impossible! We're both hard workers who make decent money TOGETHER. Separately, it's not enough, but together, it's a good amount.
HOW could we make it happen? I have heard that having children after 34 the risks just go up and up and up, that they may not be healthy...

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Actually, normally we don't.
PumpkinAngel
No, I think I was perfectly clear. I said my original statement was a suggestion, not what I said about writers in general.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Its a debate board. Your words will be taken at face value. Thats why its very important to try to be clear from the get-go.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Not all of us are familiar with how the military works.
PumpkinAngel
You seemed to be not happy with how your dh cares for the child because as you have said you avoid leaving him with your dh very often.
PumpkinAngel
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Hey, I long for the days when I just picked up my children from their preschool or daycare and went home.
PumpkinAngel
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Which you stated rare is subjective.
PumpkinAngel
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You are right.
PumpkinAngel
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