In today's economy, how can U stay home?
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| Mon, 08-07-2006 - 2:46pm |
I am 33 and am basically now sadly coming to the conclusion that we just can't have kids. I just don't know how people do it. In order to afford our mortgage, my husband and I both have to work full-time. And we bought a home in the least expensive market we could find in proximity to our jobs, so we commute up to four hours a day to make this work.
However, we both agreed, long long ago that we would only have kids if we could raise them ourselves. We just can't in good conscience reconcile the idea of having children and then handing them off to some stranger who is making close to minimum wages to rear them, and who can't possibly care about them as much as we do. And what would be the point? We would miss all their development and "firsts" and wouldn't be a close family, and they would grow up with attachment issues due to rapidly changing daycare staffing. No, if we can't do it the right way, we don't want to do it at all. We feel it's selfish to have them because WE WANT them; we decided long ago only to have them if we felt we could give them a wonderful life filled with love, hope, and opportunity.
So I am getting up there in age now, and I don't see things changing. The only people I see around me having children are people who 1) have family who live close by and can take care of their kids, 2) rich people, or women who marry rich men to be more specific, and 3) people whose families help them out financially.
Is there a chance for two people like us to have a family, when we don't have any of the above advantages? It doesn't seem like it should be THIS impossible! We're both hard workers who make decent money TOGETHER. Separately, it's not enough, but together, it's a good amount.
HOW could we make it happen? I have heard that having children after 34 the risks just go up and up and up, that they may not be healthy...

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Okay what is the acceptable amount of daycare
Are you talking death or disability?
Do you have enough life insurance on you for your dh to stay at home with your son for 18 years or are we just talking a short time?
Enough life insurance to fund college fund, retirement funds and still be able to live?
PumpkinAngel
"He is one. You said many. Where is medical evidence to back that up? Anything not backed up by solid medical evidence is theory."
That's right. That was Freud's theory, and many agree with him. Most of psychology is theory, especially when it comes to children.
"I would think if you were abused, but if your childhood was happy, I don't see how it would have a negative effect"
Even a child who had a mostly happy childhood can have scars because of the negatives in the childhood.
I agree with psychologists that by the age of 3 our personality has developed quite a bit and that we are influenced the most in our early childhood, and that's another reason why I think it's so important for young ones not to be in daycare for long hours too soon.
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