In today's economy, how can U stay home?
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| Mon, 08-07-2006 - 2:46pm |
I am 33 and am basically now sadly coming to the conclusion that we just can't have kids. I just don't know how people do it. In order to afford our mortgage, my husband and I both have to work full-time. And we bought a home in the least expensive market we could find in proximity to our jobs, so we commute up to four hours a day to make this work.
However, we both agreed, long long ago that we would only have kids if we could raise them ourselves. We just can't in good conscience reconcile the idea of having children and then handing them off to some stranger who is making close to minimum wages to rear them, and who can't possibly care about them as much as we do. And what would be the point? We would miss all their development and "firsts" and wouldn't be a close family, and they would grow up with attachment issues due to rapidly changing daycare staffing. No, if we can't do it the right way, we don't want to do it at all. We feel it's selfish to have them because WE WANT them; we decided long ago only to have them if we felt we could give them a wonderful life filled with love, hope, and opportunity.
So I am getting up there in age now, and I don't see things changing. The only people I see around me having children are people who 1) have family who live close by and can take care of their kids, 2) rich people, or women who marry rich men to be more specific, and 3) people whose families help them out financially.
Is there a chance for two people like us to have a family, when we don't have any of the above advantages? It doesn't seem like it should be THIS impossible! We're both hard workers who make decent money TOGETHER. Separately, it's not enough, but together, it's a good amount.
HOW could we make it happen? I have heard that having children after 34 the risks just go up and up and up, that they may not be healthy...

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If he lost his life, yes.
If he lost his job, no, because it's very rare to lose your job when you're military and under contract. My husband would have to show up work drunk and naked, and even then, he might not get kicked out. You have to mess up to get kicked out. Right now, if he were to screw up and get kicked out, we wouldn't need $400,000 or for me to replace his income. Why? Because his job is in such high demand, right around here, that within weeks he'd have found another job--making almost double what he did in the military.
Some people give televangelists 1000.00 and think they are saved, it doesn't make it right and it doesn't mean they are.
For me to take stock in anything you say about kids in childcare you have to back it up with fact.
<Stating that I feel one should avoid long hours of daycare for your children because of potential dangers isn't judgement, though you seem to believe it is.>
Of course you are being judgemental.
But you specifically talked about the husband losing the job and the wife going to work to replace the lost income. This is what I was addressing:
"And moreover, if the husband does stop bringing in income, mom's money is still going to support the income with maybe the exception of what they'd save on childcare if the husband was able to watch the children. I think it varies from situation to situation."
What would you do if your husband lost his job and was not able to get another one? Could you make enough to support your family? I'm also a bit confused because I vaguely recalled that you were working with Mary Kay and he was working a second job in order to try to compensate for the fact that he will soon be kicked out of the military. Why the extra work if he will so easily double his income once he is free of the military?
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