In today's economy, how can U stay home?
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| Mon, 08-07-2006 - 2:46pm |
I am 33 and am basically now sadly coming to the conclusion that we just can't have kids. I just don't know how people do it. In order to afford our mortgage, my husband and I both have to work full-time. And we bought a home in the least expensive market we could find in proximity to our jobs, so we commute up to four hours a day to make this work.
However, we both agreed, long long ago that we would only have kids if we could raise them ourselves. We just can't in good conscience reconcile the idea of having children and then handing them off to some stranger who is making close to minimum wages to rear them, and who can't possibly care about them as much as we do. And what would be the point? We would miss all their development and "firsts" and wouldn't be a close family, and they would grow up with attachment issues due to rapidly changing daycare staffing. No, if we can't do it the right way, we don't want to do it at all. We feel it's selfish to have them because WE WANT them; we decided long ago only to have them if we felt we could give them a wonderful life filled with love, hope, and opportunity.
So I am getting up there in age now, and I don't see things changing. The only people I see around me having children are people who 1) have family who live close by and can take care of their kids, 2) rich people, or women who marry rich men to be more specific, and 3) people whose families help them out financially.
Is there a chance for two people like us to have a family, when we don't have any of the above advantages? It doesn't seem like it should be THIS impossible! We're both hard workers who make decent money TOGETHER. Separately, it's not enough, but together, it's a good amount.
HOW could we make it happen? I have heard that having children after 34 the risks just go up and up and up, that they may not be healthy...

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Sure, you can do something while your child does something else and not be interacting, and we do spend some time each day doing that.
But you can also be doing something while your child does something else and be interacting, which is what I do most of the time.
(Waits for the "Oh, but I thought you interacted 24/7?" to come again, and gets ready to respond "I said almost, which meant give or take a few minutes to hours, since you obviously don't understand terms like almost & nearly!)
Excuse me then. I was referring to the post after your original statement, which stated "A writer" blah blah blah, as if it were a fact.
What stupid technicality shall we debate next?
You can find just as many "formula is just as good as breastmilk" sites but that doesn't make it true. That reflects more on what's normal in society. Most people these days are trying to be politically correct and rather than risk angering a person or causing guilt, they just act as if the alternative to what's best is just as good (ie daycare vs SAHP, formula vs breastmilk). Everyone is playing it safe. I imagine that's why you find so many sites stating that it's perfectly acceptable for moms to work. No one wants to offend anyone. We want moms to feel like they can do whatever they want, so they don't feel guilty. Because this is America, land of self-satisfaction and entitlement.
I plan on teaching my children to deal with stress, rather than forcing him to learn how to deal with it by putting him in a stressful situation.
There's a difference between being assertive and aggressive. I can assert myself without being aggressive.
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