Today's Mom a Doormat?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Today's Mom a Doormat?
606
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 12:45pm

This was an article in my local paper. I linked it from John Rosemond's website.


I usually don't agree with him but I thought he made some good points until he got to part 2. The part about serving your husband gave me the heebie-jeebies.


I was thinking about some of this last night when I was cleaning up after my children again. Why don't I make Zak fold clothes and sweep? Why do I let myself get so frustrated when I can make him help out?


Also, and I might get flamed, but I do think some fear of your parents is good. The little boy across the street stole again and was confined to his room. Obviously, the confinement to your room approach is not working. If I had ever stolen from my parents, the results would have been drastic. Confinement to my room would have been the least of my worries.


I want my children to respect me and to fear my reactions to their misbehavior.


edited to put the link in because I am an idiot! (uneducated, you know and not intelluctually stimulating)


http://www.rosemond.com/action.lasso?-response=/1editorialbody.lasso&-token.folder=2004-07-13&-token.story=34987.111111&-token.quiz=doormats&-token.pagelink=&-token.thread=49.111111&-nothing



"When death like a gypsy comes

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:15pm

Jumping in way late to this thread so I apologize in advance if my post is redundant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:22pm
Nah, its great debate fodder. isnt it a debate board? hence all the posts. you know what, he called women who allow themselves to be doormats, doormats. not all women.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:25pm
I think *most* people use "because i said so" when they are *tired* of answering the same questions a gazillion times. i know in my case this is true. my kids would actually ask me the same question ten minutes after they heard one of the other ones ask, and i know my kids are normal, hence, im sure it happens to other parents.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:34pm
Nah, it was his personality. sorry, you're still a good mom, but kids have personalities, and if he were a stinker, all the talk in the world, wouldnt have tamed him. but you know what? if my dd were my only child, i probably would agree with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:40pm

I know I'm entering this thread late in the game, but I don't understand why people are so against explaining things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:49pm
I think "Why do I have to go to bed?" is the same as saying, "I'm thirsty," when they are obviously not thirsty and want to delay. That's why I don't find it offensive that moms support using the "Because I say so" tool every so often.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:51pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:54pm
My three are all very different. here is an example in a nutshell. say they are all two years old, and im putting them to bed.

ds1-would say ....yes,

dd- would say....no,

and ds2 would take off without saying anything.

as they got older, it all changed. ds1 became defiant, dd became conformant(is that a word?) and ds2 was kind of in the middle.

its a crap shoot, and all the talk and explaining in the world isnt going to change the personality of the kid, hence "because i said so" was born.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:55pm
ITA.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 07-20-2004 - 5:57pm
Having had three children, I think they're born with a certain temperament and, if they're "agreeable" children, a parent should do everything possible each day to foster and not stifle that. I'm not sure how I'd handle a difficult child. There's a lot more room for a parent to make "mistakes" and increase the disagreeable side of the child's personality.

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