Today's Mom a Doormat?
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| Fri, 07-16-2004 - 12:45pm |
This was an article in my local paper. I linked it from John Rosemond's website.
I usually don't agree with him but I thought he made some good points until he got to part 2. The part about serving your husband gave me the heebie-jeebies.
I was thinking about some of this last night when I was cleaning up after my children again. Why don't I make Zak fold clothes and sweep? Why do I let myself get so frustrated when I can make him help out?
Also, and I might get flamed, but I do think some fear of your parents is good. The little boy across the street stole again and was confined to his room. Obviously, the confinement to your room approach is not working. If I had ever stolen from my parents, the results would have been drastic. Confinement to my room would have been the least of my worries.
I want my children to respect me and to fear my reactions to their misbehavior.
edited to put the link in because I am an idiot! (uneducated, you know and not intelluctually stimulating)
"When death like a gypsy comes

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It is a deal- playground time is exchanged for toy pick-up. But so much of adult life is deals like that; you can buy the TV AFTER you pay the rent and other bills, you can go to Happy Hour AFTER you complete a full day's work.
Nobody here is saying they never explain things to their kids.
I actually agree with that part of the Rosemond article that suggests that children look to parents to set rules, even arbitrary rules like when is bedtime and who is responsible for the taking out the trash, to give the child a sense of security. There's something secure in a curfew even and it tells children they're important. To explain it ad nauseum or to negotiate it to the point of it being meaningless (say, a curfew of 6 a.m.) just takes away the effectiveness and the security of rules.
Will you never use, "Because I said so?" How about if this happens every night for a week?
See but when its every day that she asks and we have told her that she has to go to bed at 8pm.
(I personally am not big on making "mini-rewards" contingent on chores anyway. But I'd rather they got outside or did something fun than be penalized for not doing the chore.)
Exactly....For me it goes this way
DD1 is difiant....She will try everything to get out of doing what I ask her and she will question every thing I say we need to do.
DS is more a conformist.
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