"Too young for daycare"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
"Too young for daycare"?
77
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 10:12pm

I was considering going to work full time starting in the fall, and when I told my mother she said that 1 year old is too young for Joe to be suddenly thrust into full time daycare. When I think of the combination of how his separation anxiety will be at its peak and the fact that he's never been in daycare, I agree that for him, under his circumstances, it might be much less of a shock if I wait until he's 2 years old (of course by then I might be having my next child and the whole thing will start over again, LOL).

But anyway, "too young for full-time daycare"? What do you consider to be too young for full-time daycare? I've always had the "6 weeks, then back to work" American expectation in my head, so this is actually a new thought for me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 2:58pm

There's nothing to be gained by taking a long leave anyway.

yes there is. theres more bonding time with baby, plus more adjustment time for mommy to learn how to be mommy...and also you dont have to pay for child care if youre off work. my dd who cried every time we went to leave her at 1 year old is a hapy adjusted 7 1/2 year old. i was more upset than her one the first day of kindergarten-and on that day, she had been home for the past year. (we had relatives staying with us who watched my kids from sep. 2004-sep. of 2006. all we did was leave for work during the day-the kids didnt have to go anywhere)i remember a girl in 2nd grade crying during class-cuz she missed her family. i had a hard time adjusting to first grade...but we all got over it. we all grew into adulthood and i dont know the girl personally now, but im pretty sure she is a well adjusted adult. it happens. kids adjust. there will be an adjustment factor anyway-even if they start dc at 6 weeks old-after being home all weekend with mommy, monday may be hard day. separation anxiety happens-kids get over it. period.
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 2:48pm

"I"m pretty sure that kid is scarred for life from the trauma."

And I'm pretty sure she's not.

i was thinking the same thing. i let a friend from work watch my dd for a few months before i started using my sister in law. every time i saw her or her kids, they all seemed happy and clean and everything. you know what they say about not knowing what happens behind closed doors, right? well, i have no proof, but i dont think she was taking very good care of my dd-i think she pretty much put her in the play pen and thats where she stayed all day. plus her house was always trashed when i went over there... my dd was almost a year old when she stopped watching her and my dd is fine. she went to being watched by my sil and then a trusted cousin after that and suffered no ill effects from her time with the 1 woman. they really dont remember-it doesnt scar them for life...
joanne
maman2goons@yaho.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 2:37pm
hello!! well, i went back to work when my dd was 8 weeks old. but we were living with my mil-and she was a stay at home parent-so i didnt have to leave her with anyone. i just left the house and that was it. but we moved out when she was 3 months old-and i had a couple of different people watching her during the day. at age 1, it was my sil. my dd would cry when we would leave-it was hard to drive away when she standing at the doorway crying, but we did. and the minute we were out of sight-she would stop. same with any other child at that age. they cry, but they stop. usually right away. its just the thought of "utoh-mommys leaving and wheres she going and when will she be back and what if i need her before that??" it will happen at age 2 the same way. i have a nephew whos almost 3 and his parents have to sneak out the back door when they go somewhere cuz if he sees them leave, its all over. i was watching him one time and he went looking for his mom and when he couldnt find her, he got a lil upset, but he didnt cry or scream. he just went "mommy?? mommy??" in each room and then went and sat down and watched tv. when they came back, he was happy but he wasnt too upset that they had left. its just that first moment and then the child is okay. but its entirely up to you:-)
joanne
maman2goons@yahoo.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2003
Sun, 02-24-2008 - 2:35pm

I think a 1 year old will adapt to daycare much more easily than a 2 year old.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Wed, 02-20-2008 - 3:04am

I know you didn't :o) It was just that when I read what I wrote it sounded like "poor me, not only did my parents divorce, but they also sent me to daycare", and it wasn't like that at all.


I think some daycares are good, some are bad, some kids adjust easily, some don't. In the daycare my DD went to there was a little girl of around ten months who had just started after having been home with her mom. At home she had not been stimulated physically at all, she had only been lying on the floor or sitting in a bouncy seat, so she couldn't sit or carry weight on her legs at all, at ten months! For her daycare was definitely much better than being at home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 02-19-2008 - 2:44pm

ftr,i never implied that dc was some evil,tormented place.

 

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-19-2008 - 11:44am
It's such a balancing act for me as a single parent in a committed relationship.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Tue, 02-19-2008 - 11:01am

I just thought I'd make the point to make sure that it was clear that I wasn't torn from

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-19-2008 - 10:31am
nice post.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Tue, 02-19-2008 - 10:25am

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